Originally posted: http://www.boston.com/ae/movies/articles/2011/04/03/not_so_super_superhero_movies/
By Ethan Gilsdorf
What makes a superhero super?
Comic books came first, then Hollywood, bearing stories about humans, mutants, and others â Hulks, X-Men, Fantastic Four â who got irradiated or experimented upon, or landed on Earth from far-flung planets. As a result, the freaks can leap tall buildings, deflect bullets, shape-shift, and get mad.
But what about unconventional superheroes, the more powerless ones? Hollywood has also covered them. In the category of âsuperheroes with no real superpowers,ââ thereâs the jet-pack powered âThe Rocketeerââ (1991), Shaquille OâNeal in the laughable âSteelââ (1997), the recent âThe Green Hornetââ and âIron Manââ films, and any of the âBatmanââ incarnations. These less-than-super heroes use strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, charisma, and, naturally, super access to cash and gadgets to bring justice. In the case of âThe Phantom,ââ heâs a ghost, which is close enough. In the animated âThe Incrediblesââ (2004), we see retired superheroes forced to hide their powers.
Stretch the definition further to include any do-gooder who takes to the streets to deliver justice, and youâll find action figures straddling that hero/antihero divide: Charles Bronson vigilante types, be they cops or just grim dudes in trench coats. Some are darker than others: âThe Punisherââ (1989, 2004) ticks off a roster of human rights violations â murder, extortion, torture â to punish his foes.
Forget about supervillains.
But what about the rest of us? Everyday Joes and Jills frustrated with crime and tired of lame Neighborhood Watch programs? Folks keen to try out the superhero lifestyle, without any true super powers at all? In the real world, a few nationwide organizations like Superheroes Anonymous (
www.superheroesanonymous.com) and Real Life Superheroes (
www.reallifesuperheroes.org) embolden this fantasy. In cities across America, brave souls take on personas like Terrifica, a New York City-based hero who prevents inebriated women in New York City from being hit on by men, and Mexico Cityâs Superbarrio, who uses his costumed character to organize labor rallies and lead petition drives. Locally, thereâs New Bedfordâs Civitron, âa symbol of creative altruism,ââ and Runebringer, an âempowerment activistââ from Waterbury, Conn.
As in James Gunnâs âSuper,ââ these protagonists âaim to do good in the world and inspire others,ââ according to the Superheroes Anonymous website. They wield mundane weapons. They take small bites out of crime. And we salute them.
But before you join them, before you wear the mask and don the cape â and certainly before you engage in some diabolical experiment to alter your DNA â you might want to check how Hollywood advertises the job description. What follows is a roundup of mere mortal beings who nonetheless act big.
In the meantime, dream of the hero you really want to be. Dog Whisperer? Wonder Nurse? Really Good Bookkeeper? Me, Iâd settle for Super Unstressed Guy
HERO AT LARGE (1980): This film might have kicked off the ordinary-guy-as-superhero genre. John Ritter plays a struggling actor hired to dress as Captain Avenger at comic book stores and conventions. When he stops a real robbery, life gets complicated. He becomes embroiled in city politics, then redeems himself when he rescues a kid from a fire.
THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO (1981-83): This ABC television series featured William Katt as a special-education teacher given a red suit and cape by aliens, which give him superhuman abilities. Remember the theme song? âBelieve it or not,/ Iâm walking on air./ I never thought I could feel so free-ee-eee. . .ââ Believe it or not, that ditty became a Billboard hit.
CONDORMAN (1981): Maybe it was Ronald Reaganâs can-do, American spirit, but the early â80s brought another DIY superhero story. A comic book artist (Michael Crawford) becomes his creation, Condorman, in what the movieâs tagline calls âan action adventure romantic comedy spy story.ââ Siskel and Ebert pronounced âCondormanââ one of the worst movies of the year.
DARKMAN (1990): Reportedly stymied in his efforts to film âThe Shadowââ or âBatman,ââ Sam âEvil Deadââ Raimi came up with his own superhero. The premise: after a disfiguring fire and experimental medical treatment, scientist Liam Neeson develops synthetic skin that lets him look like anyone. He also senses no pain, has super-strength, and flies into rages. Hence, he takes revenge on the mobsters who blew up his lab and turned him into the monster he became, the masked vigilante Darkman.
MYSTERY MEN (1999): In this hilarious spoof on the genre, lesser superheroes with unimpressive super powers must save the day. Blue Raja (Hank Azaria) throws forks, the Shoveler (William H. Macy) shovels, Bowler (Janeane Garofalo) wields bowling balls, Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller) has anger management issues, and Spleen (Paul Reubens) is superflatulent. Super-silly all around.
UNBREAKABLE (2000): Security guard Bruce Willis reluctantly realizes heâs got super powers. In a twist on the genre, Samuel L. Jackson plays his archnemesis â a superweak polar opposite nicknamed âMr. Glass,ââ because of his brittle bones. Jacksonâs character also happens to run a comic book art gallery. Clunky, but effective. From M. Night âMr. Surprise Endingââ Shyamalan.
DEFENDOR (2009): In a stretch for Woody Harrelson, he plays a mentally ill construction worker who at night gets into his alter ego, Defendor, thanks to a homemade costume decorated with duct tape. With unconventional weapons like marbles and paper clips, he hunts for his enemy, Captain Industry, whom he blames for the death of his mother. Like âSuper,ââ a comedy. Except when itâs not.
KICK-ASS (2010): In this film adaptation of a comic, a wimpy comic book-reading teenager (Aaron Johnson) decides to remake himself as a masked superhero named Kick-Ass. Cops, drug lords, and an 11-year-old vigilante named Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) all enter the plot. Apparently a lot of filmmakers and screenwriters read comic books as kids. Like a snake eating its tail, âKick-Assââ represents the self-reflexive endgame of the do-it-yourself crime fighter.