Archives September 2011

Today was not my day.
I have a REAL elderly parent and she sees the yellow tape at the end of the race so she’s trying to tie up loose ends.
This would not be fun in the first place, but my Mom never won any contests for Miss Congeniality so it was a day of hauling her around in the sun & listening to her chew out Bank staff, Nurses, basically anybody who got in the way of her wrath while sitting there with my face buried in my hand. Finally after a full day of this I get home to Lady Hero & dinner at a Hawaiian restaurant that just opened in Ozona when it hits me…
“Man, I got to patrol.”
I’m wiped out & on my last leg you think I’d just want to watch the Hula dancers, get home & hit the rack after the Simpson’s or something but no…
“Man I got to patrol.”
So I suit up & head for St. Pete, I get a coffee & head for the Highway when the light in front of me turns yellow. “Yellow light? No F*&^king problem…I put my foot down on the gas & nothing happens… that’s when it dawns on me…
“Oh my GOD! I’m not in the Supermobile! I’m going to F^%$ing DIE!”
So I’m literally standing on the Brake Horizontally and I think the Sentra is doing that “Bunching up” thing that the car the Pink Panther had that had a Mind of it’s own would do when it was trying to keep from sailing over a cliff or something when I manage to come to a stop right before the intersection.
I’m sitting there shaking & I look down & realize “Wow I didn’t spill a drop of coffee.”
Now that IS a superpower. You think that would be the end of it but…
“Man I got to patrol.”
So I get down there and things finally start to take a swing up. I’m on foot and there’s some kind of huge block party going on, 5 people stopped me that had seen me on HBO & supported what we were doing, another bunch just wanted photos with me or to talk about what I was doing there, but even this wasn’t quenching my desire to be out there.
“Man I got to patrol.”
So I walk away from all that & get back into the quiet, Darker, Spookier part of the city. And that’s when it finally dawns on me.
“I’m patrolling.”
“This has to be the bottom line draw to this for a lot of guys.” I think to myself.
Throughout the day they’re everyday yutzes but for just a few hours a night…
They get to be a F&*^king Jungle Cat. It’s dark, their tights are compressing against their muscles, they’re looking for prey, for just a few hours they get to be on top of the food chain in some form or another.
Everything is right in their world.
I don’t know why it’s on patrol that I always have moments of clarity, I wonder if other guys are the same way.
Because when it’s done, it’s back home to do the F*&^king dishes.
Live the Gimmick
SH
 

“Super friend’s divorce”
Or…”How Super teams are just like real relationships”
Here’s why…
So I’m sitting in front of a client’s house today waiting for him to come home & I’m talking to one of my Super children.
“Don’t make me choose between the two of you.” Is basically what he’s saying to me and I’m reassuring him that his Super parents both love him equally & would never do anything like that to him.
That’s when it occurs to me how much my involvement with a super team has been like an actual relationship.
I met my Super partner a little over 4 years ago on the internet, we had both been in the game for over a decade (Him even longer) and it was love at first sight. He was the Batman to my Superman, The Moon-Knight to my Hyperion, The Spock to my Kirk, The Chip to my Dale, basically whatever genre you stuck us in we were the team.
At first everything was beautiful, as it is in most new relationships. A unstoppable team with vast experience in varying fields who when we put our knowledge together were completely unstoppable. Things were so great that like in a real relationship, we decided to take the next big step & tie the knot officially…
…Forming an actual legal team.
And along with that union comes more members, responsibility, stress etc. Then like in a lot of relationships, infatuation wears thin, and people start acting like people again. You get tired of your super spouse leaving their body armor on the floor, they get sick of you hanging your cape over their favorite chair, they want to fly, you want to take the nuclear powered car, then it happens…
“I think we should see other people.”
So…you do.
“There’s plenty of Superheroes in the sea” (Nowadays anyway) you talk to them on the internet and you travel around on “Business trips” where you actually meet up with them and while you’re away your super spouse is doing the same thing.
Then it happens.
It’s Divorce time.
If you’re lucky (And it appears I have been) you’re super spouse breaks up amicably. You go your own ways, He keeps right on protecting Gotham & you keep a watchful eye on Metropolis, you breathe a sigh of relief and get on with your life except for one small detail.
“Who gets the Super kids?”
Back when you thought it would just “last forever” or “Our star crossed Super Team will NEVER fail!” or whatever crap you told yourself the two of you decided that a great expression of your devotion would be little Supers to carry on in your name, now that it’s over…what happens to them?
Which brings me back to the beginning of the story, and reassuring one of my Super Kids that both his super parents love him equally & I could hear in his voice the strain of him wondering what the other one would think if he went & fought crime with the other one and so on & so on. I’ve decided not to fight for custody, Super kid was always closer to my Super Spouse (Both emotionally & geographically) & he’s a good influence on him. I’ll just ask for visitation on occasional weekends. Also the divorce seems to be amicable so far & I’m sure my Super Spouse will want full custody & our Super kids have been through enough already. I expect big things from my Super kid, and I’ll always be there if he needs a hand. I don’t think I could ask for much more.
So all this has lead me to the Conclusion that Super Teams work a lot like relationships. Am I right or wrong? I’m not sure.
Do I advise you to take heed of this before you decide to join or form a team? Hell yes.
Was it all worth it? Hell yes, you learn from every experience, and there were a lot of good times too.
SH
 

“Super friend’s divorce”
Or…”How Super teams are just like real relationships”
Here’s why…
So I’m sitting in front of a client’s house today waiting for him to come home & I’m talking to one of my Super children.
“Don’t make me choose between the two of you.” Is basically what he’s saying to me and I’m reassuring him that his Super parents both love him equally & would never do anything like that to him.
That’s when it occurs to me how much my involvement with a super team has been like an actual relationship.
I met my Super partner a little over 4 years ago on the internet, we had both been in the game for over a decade (Him even longer) and it was love at first sight. He was the Batman to my Superman, The Moon-Knight to my Hyperion, The Spock to my Kirk, The Chip to my Dale, basically whatever genre you stuck us in we were the team.
At first everything was beautiful, as it is in most new relationships. A unstoppable team with vast experience in varying fields who when we put our knowledge together were completely unstoppable. Things were so great that like in a real relationship, we decided to take the next big step & tie the knot officially…
…Forming an actual legal team.
And along with that union comes more members, responsibility, stress etc. Then like in a lot of relationships, infatuation wears thin, and people start acting like people again. You get tired of your super spouse leaving their body armor on the floor, they get sick of you hanging your cape over their favorite chair, they want to fly, you want to take the nuclear powered car, then it happens…
“I think we should see other people.”
So…you do.
“There’s plenty of Superheroes in the sea” (Nowadays anyway) you talk to them on the internet and you travel around on “Business trips” where you actually meet up with them and while you’re away your super spouse is doing the same thing.
Then it happens.
It’s Divorce time.
If you’re lucky (And it appears I have been) you’re super spouse breaks up amicably. You go your own ways, He keeps right on protecting Gotham & you keep a watchful eye on Metropolis, you breathe a sigh of relief and get on with your life except for one small detail.
“Who gets the Super kids?”
Back when you thought it would just “last forever” or “Our star crossed Super Team will NEVER fail!” or whatever crap you told yourself the two of you decided that a great expression of your devotion would be little Supers to carry on in your name, now that it’s over…what happens to them?
Which brings me back to the beginning of the story, and reassuring one of my Super Kids that both his super parents love him equally & I could hear in his voice the strain of him wondering what the other one would think if he went & fought crime with the other one and so on & so on. I’ve decided not to fight for custody, Super kid was always closer to my Super Spouse (Both emotionally & geographically) & he’s a good influence on him. I’ll just ask for visitation on occasional weekends. Also the divorce seems to be amicable so far & I’m sure my Super Spouse will want full custody & our Super kids have been through enough already. I expect big things from my Super kid, and I’ll always be there if he needs a hand. I don’t think I could ask for much more.
So all this has lead me to the Conclusion that Super Teams work a lot like relationships. Am I right or wrong? I’m not sure.
Do I advise you to take heed of this before you decide to join or form a team? Hell yes.
Was it all worth it? Hell yes, you learn from every experience, and there were a lot of good times too.
SH