Tag ComicsAlliance

Originally posted: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/02/23/britain-real-life-super-hero-the-statesman/
By Chris Sims
Here at ComicsAlliance, we’ve been keeping tabs on the “Real Life Super-Heroes” for a while, chronicling the triumphs of Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle and the somewhat-less-than-triumphs of Tennesee’s Viper, and today, there’s a new champion of justice walking the streets: The Statesman, stalwart defender of Birmingham, UK!

And not only is he the perfect candidate for inclusion in a worldwide anti-crime organization, should America’s real-life super-heroes ever decide to follow Batman’s lead and franchise into Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle, Incorporated, he’s also the first real life super-hero to actually display evidence of metahuman powers.

And by that, I am of course referring to his totally sweet facial hair.
Yes, he might look like what would happen if Captain Britain forsaked his job as mystical protector of the British Isles in favor of taking a position as head security guard at the mall — and actually, why aren’t there more super-heroes rocking cargo pants? — but that is a set of mutton chops that brooks no sass from ne’er-do-wells.
Especially since the combination of the Motörhead ‘stache and the latex domino mask makes him look like a strange transporter-accident combination of the Comedian from Watchmen and Lemmy Kilmister:
If that’s not something that’s going to intimidate the criminal element, I don’t know what is.
And according to his profile in London’s Daily Mail, he’s already mastered the most important lessons for any super-hero, following the rules set down by comics: He has a boring day job that requires him to wear a suit (just like Superman!), he lies to his girlfriend about his whereabouts while he’s out fighting crime (just like Spider-Man!), and he somehow expects to maintain a secret identity despite having an extremely distinctive beard (just like Green Arrow!). He even wears a utility belt that contains his crime-fighting equipment, including a flashlight, a Sharpie and a little notebook (just like Batman!) (sort of!).
So for the English criminal community — which I believe is made up almost entirely of Bullet Tooth Tony and Lord Voldemort — watch out! The Statesman is on patrol with a mission to end crime!
Just so long as crime takes place betwen 7 PM and midnight. The dude’s got work tomorrow, you know?

In what is surely just the first shot fired in the inevitable war between the authorities and masked vigilantes, the police of Columbia, Tennessee have demanded that the local superhero, the Viper, cease his activities in the fair southern U.S. city. The move, reported by ABC News, recalls the harsh actions of government authorites in Watchmen, where the notorious Keane Act outlawed all masked crimefighters in the United States. Things aren’t quite as violently oppressive in the quiet city of Columbia – where, the ABC reporter takes care to note, there are many pigeons – but it is very much against the law to wear masks on the street. As such, the mysterious Viper has found himself S.O.L.
Garbed in a Power Rangers-esque costume of green tights and a mask, the Viper told ABC News, “I’m not in it for the ‘wow’ factor.” But while the Viper only wishes to inspire his fellow Columbians to do the right thing, the local police saw things differently. “My future endeavors are limited right now, since i’m confined to headquarters,” he said, deppressingly.
The events in Columbia do not bode well for other real-life superheroes like Phoenix Jones, especially as their flamboyant actions continue to draw attention from the media and perhaps undermine the authority of the police. In any case, ComicsAlliance will continue to monitor the situation.
Xeno be with you, Viper. We join the good citizens of Columbia, Tennessee in awaiting your defiant return to action.
[Via ABC News]