A quick shout out for Tothian.

I gave him one on Facebook…then realized since I don’t have a Facebook anymore nobody wold see it. The other night when I was desperately trying to get a hold of somebody in the Orlando area to check up on Master Legend, Tothian was all over it. I had no idea you could 911 from anywhere in the country…Tothian knew.
By the time I got a hold of somebody (I’m two hours away) they arrived to find the paramedics already there.
Way to go Tothian, way to be on top of it.
OSH

Tothian

Real life super heroes?

Originally posted: http://www.martialartsclothing.org/real-life-super-heroes.php
And you thought superheroes existed only in fiction? Inspired by fiction superheroes such as Batman and Superman, these people wear masks and capes in order to fight real crime on the strets. Here’s a list with 10 of the most famous real-life superheroes.
Superbarrio (Mexico)
He’s faster than a speeding turtle, able to leap small speed bumps in a single bound. Look, up in the sky … Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Superbarrio — a flabby caped crusader in cherry red tights who traverses the streets of Mexico City, defending the lower class. A high school dropout with a humble upbringing, Superbarrio has become one of Mexico City’s greatest folk heroes. For the past 10 years, he has stood as the champion of the working class, the poor and the homeless.

“I opened my eyes and found myself as you see me with a voice telling me, ‘You are Superbarrio,’” he said, explaining that his name means super-neighborhood. “I can’t stop a plane or a train single-handed, but I can keep a family from being evicted.” His role is primarily symbolic as the protector of low-income neighborhoods. But on behalf of squatters and labor unions, Superbarrio leads protest rallies, files petitions and challenges court decisions. Rumors also have circulated that he attempted to run for the president of the United States to better protect Mexican workers. His followers find him inspirational and recently erected a statue in his honor — a giant lifelike replica that looks like an oversized Cabbage Patch doll at 40. The awed crowd chanted, “You see him. You feel him. Superbarrio is here!”
Terrifica (NY City)
Terrifica patrols New York City’s bars, clubs, and streets by night, in an effort to protect inebriated women in danger of being taken advantage of by men. Since the mid-1990s Terrifica has donned a golden mask, Valkyrie bra, blond wig, red boots and cape, to distract the men she tries to dissuade from seducing drunk young women. She carries a utility belt containing a pepper spray, cell phone, lipstick, a camera to photograph alleged predators, a journal, Terrifica fortune cards, and Smarties for energy. Terrifica has an arch-nemesis, a self-proclaimed philanderer who calls himself Fantastico. “I protect the single girl living in the big city,” says Terrifica. By day, she is Sarah, a 30-year-old single woman who works for a computer consulting company. “I do this because women are weak. They are easily manipulated, and they need to be protected from themselves and most certainly from men and their ill intentions toward them.”
The Eye (Mountain View California)
The Eye is a 48 year-old superhero who patrols the streets of Mountain View, California. He is a street-level, practical crime fighter, who uses various electronic and other means to prevent crime. He has even got a myspace page!
Citizen Prime (Phoenix)
Citizen Prime, a 40-year-old married man whose first name is Jim, has been protecting the streets of Phoenix for a year. He became a superhero to spread the message that people don’t have to be fearful of crime. “Are you going to sit inside scared that a terrorist might attack your city, or are you going to go out and live your life?” he asked. But Prime, who patrols once or twice a week in a black, blue and yellow costume, found one chink in his armor. He couldn’t find any crime. “The only crime I’ve ever stopped is when I was actually walking out of a sporting goods store with my wife,” he said. “A shoplifter came running past me, and I managed to throw him to the ground.”
Tothian (NJ and NY city)
Tothian, 22, is a superhero who protects New Jersey and New York, is one of the more active heroes. He uses his skills as a Marine reservist and martial arts expert when patrolling the streets, and has escorted women home at night and broken up fights. His uniform–he prefers that term to costume–is black combat boots, green cargo pants and a T-shirt. His logo, which is stitched into the middle of the T-shirt with cut-up bandanas, is made from the letters used to spell Tothian. Tothian doesn’t wear a mask because it blocks his peripheral vision, and says he doesn’t wear a cape “because capes get in the way of actually doing real superhero stuff.” Tothian says he doesn’t want to become a police officer because he doesn’t agree with every law on the book. “I’m not out to punish every single criminal,” he said. For example, he would counsel marijuana smokers, but wouldn’t apprehend them as bad guys. Tothian said he gets some strange looks when people find out he’s a superhero. But after people realize he’s out to protect them, he says their trepidation eases somewhat.
Angle Grinder Man (London, and Kent)
Angle-grinder Man patrols by night looking for unhappy drivers who have been clamped and then sets the
IS IT ME OR THESE NUTJOBS CRAZY AND WHAT UR SIGN

NYC RLSH Patrol

NYC Patrol 07/31/2010 – by Dark Guardian
Dark Guardian and Team
Met up with Thre3, Life, Blindside, Tothian, Shade, Smaratin and Cameraman. We met at Washington Square Park. Good Morning Japan came out for part of the patrol. They were very friendly and I am looking forward to seeing the finished news piece which will be released exclusively on www.RealLifeSuperheroes.org .
Dark Guardian and Team
We patrolled around the park veering through the side streets. Drug dealing in Washington Square Park has been tamed down. If there is dealing goign on it is a very small amount of people and there seems to be no hard drugs. We worked our way up to Union Square Park. We helped a lot of people on the way. Life and Cameraman brought a great deal of supplies to give out. We handed out food, water, socks, shirts, tooth brushes, vitamins, razors, and more neccesities. We stopped and talk to different people as we patrolled the streets telling them about what we do. A couple people were interested in possibly doing it themselves. Nothing too exciting happened just an average patrol. Made sure some guy on heroine was doing ok on the streets. Stopping some guy from climbing over a park fence. We found a lot of homeless people staying in Union Square Park. We wound up running out of supplies. Now we know where a lot of the homeless are staying so we can go back and give aid to them. Tothian and Samaritan did a bike patrol after the group split up.DSC004753

Superheroes Anonymous

Originally posted in Death + Taxes Magainze MarchApril 2010 issue
By Breena Ehrlich
Hollywood abounds with stories these days. But somewhere out there just beyond the shadows, from New York City to Mexico City to New Bedford, Massachusetts, lurks a bona fide, HONEST TO GOD NETWORK OF REAL REAL –LIFE SUPERHEROES. They are not Watchmen. They are not even Kick-Ass or Red Mist. No bullet-proof vest, no Chinese stars. These are normal people- students, bankers, what have you. They just happen to patrol over society in costume, fighting crime and doing good deeds under aliases like Life and The Dark Guardian. They are Superheroes Anonymous. For real.
What’s going on here?” Life asks, ambling up to a pair of cops as they peer though the dusty glass doors of a seemingly abandoned building. The copes turn around, take in the young man’s young face; he looks like one of the Culkin brothers- like that kind from Igby Goes Down. The kid’s fedora is set at a jaunty angle, his black cargo pants are tucked into black jungle boots, his backpack weighs down his shoulders, even though they’re thrown back confidently. He looks like a Brooklyn-dweller. A college student. A kid. Perhaps a nosy kid, the kind that watched too many cops shows as a kid. They probably don’t notice the black mask hanging from his belt loop, or the tzitzis poking out the bottom of his black winter coat.
One of the cops, a jowly man with buzzed hair and a gently swelling belly, gives Life a slight smile. “WE got a call. Some woman can’t get a hold of her husband who’s a security guard. She says she works here, but this place seems abandoned,” he answers with surprising candor and a perfectly stereotypical New York Accent.
“Yeah,” says the other cop, running his hand over his slicked-back gray hair, which still has comb tracks in it from earlier grooming. “I mean, there’s tap on the windows. That means it’s abandoned, right?”
The copes continue to peer though the darkened windows as Life jumps down to inspect a basement-level door. The radios on their belts buzz and crackle: “The missing child is approximately four feet tall, wearing a striped sweater. The suspect-“ Life joins the copes on the steps in mutual consideration of the darkened building, a gray stone apartment building near the Columbia University campus- close enough to Riverside Park that the assemblage can feel the cold air off the water buffeting their backs and faces. The jowly cop’s cheeks are red.
The men in blue bang on the door a few times and then turn to Life with equally stern brows. “Stand back,” says the gray haired cop and positions his shoulders as if to break the door down. Life hops back a little and the cops laugh. “Just Kidding,” Comb Tracks says.
“So are you a student?” Jowls inquires, apparently in no hurry to solve the mystery of the missing security guard.
“No, actually I’m a Real-Life Superhero, Life says with a slight smile, fingering the mask that hangs from his side. The cops look at each other with raised eyebrows and more than a hint of amusement.
“Oh yeah? Well, can you tell us where Columbia security is?” Jowls says with a brief smile. “Maybe they can help us figure out where this guard is
Life gives them directions and follows them to their car,” I can get in and go with you guys if you’d like…” he says, lingering near the cruiser.
“Ha, ha, nah,” says Jowls. “Thanks.” The cops drive off into the night, leaving Life and his backpack in front of the darkened building.
With the squad car disappears the glimmer of danger, the opportunity to race off in the night, the blue and red flashing. In a movie or a comic book this would be the point where our hero’s story really heats up: He discovers that the mission guard has been captured by an evil avenger with a rampant disdain for any and all authority figures- and now the poor old man is being held hostage in some fortress in the dark recesses of Governor’s Island. And because the bumbling cops neglected to adequately hunt for clues our hero is tasked with his safe return. But this is not a move. This is no adaptation- just plain old New York.  IN the realm of the real, Life watched the cruiser disappears into the night, sighs a puff of cold-etched air, and jaywalks across the street. As he hops from the sidewalk, his boots clearing the curb, he indulges a brief exclamation: “Zing!”
LIFE A.K.A. CHAIM LAZAROS is a real-life superhero- designation that would likely cause many a reader to snort in derision or laugh in abject mockery. Visions of plump, sad comic book fans in spandex leap to mind- images of computer geeks wandering around darkened streets, desperately seeking some nefarious B-level crime to debunk. That’s not Life. Life is a do-gooder. He doesn’t fight crime per se– he takes to the streets and provides aid to the poor souls who many of us outright ignore: the homeless.
In a sense, this is his superpower. Where comic superheroes might manifest their powers through a supernatural affinity for controlling the weather or assuming arachnid capabilities, Life’s chosen specialty is the homeless- although he’s the first to admit that he doesn’t actually have any special abilities. “I hate when people ask where my cape is,” Life says. “Capes are stupid and ineffective. No one flies… I don’t have any super powers,” he adds. “I’m just a person. A poor, young person in New York City- and I help a lot of people. I’m not special.” Nevertheless, as his name suggests, Life provides sustenance and, well, life, to the downtrodden, specializing in a particular realm of aid- and to do so he tapes into his two natural abilities: kindness and an aptitude for spin. Life is a natural PR man, an organizer who uses the aesthetic of the super hero, the sheer flashiness of the concept, to attract others to his cause.
Life is one of the heads of Superheroes Anonymous, a collective of citizen who have made it their mission to do good by the world. Some do it in much the same way as Coalition for the Homeless or Habitat for Humanity, and some do it with the more dangerous, risky flair of vigalantes- but they all do it in costume. Each year it holds a sizable conference during which heroes from all over the world assemble. So far there have been three conferences: one in Times Square, New York City, one in New Orleans, and the most recent in New Bedford, Massachusetts, also known as The Secret City due to its large volume of unsolved homicides.
Superheroes Anonymous, which coalesced into its current state in 2007, hardly marks the first incarnation of real-life superhero-dom, although it is probably the most organized superhero affiliation. According to a history written by Hardwire, a hero from Greensboro, North Carolina, the first real-life superhero date back to the seventeenth century- his name was William Lamport, or Zorro. The modern ideal of real-life heroes started to solidify in the seventies with Captain Sticky, a man by the name of Richard Pesta who would patrol San Diego in a bubble-topped Lincoln clad in blue tights and a cape, working to launch investigations into elder care. And then there was Rick Rojatt, a daredevil known as The Human Fly, whose entire family was killed in a car crash that left him temporarily crippled. The nineties heralded the arrival of Marco Rascon Cordova, a Mexico City resident who became Superbarrio and championed the poor and working class, and Terrifica, a New Yorker who took it upon herself to protect drunken women from unwanted advances. And then there’s Civitron, a father and former counselor for children in transition who patrols New Bedford, Massachusetts with his son, The Mad Owl, a superhero-in-the-making with a love for woodland creatures.
In short, this underground community was flourishing, the network reaching across the world. But it was a fractured connection; these do-gooders mostly communicated via Internet forums and MySpace pages, connected only through the currents of the digital age- until Life came along.
Like all superheroes, life has his own creation myth, which more closely mirrors that of the famed comic book authors that of yore than the apocryphal tales of Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne. Like the majority of old-school creators- immigrants and children of immigrants who invented heroes to battle the myriad woes of their woes- Lazaros is a Jew, the son of an Orthodox rabbi who has seven children in all. The second –oldest child, Lazaros is kind of the black sheet. “He’s a very idealistic kid and he has a lot of pity on people that are downtrodden and homeless. He’s a do-gooder and he wants to do go,” his father says, recalling how, as a child, Life took on his entire bunk at sleepaway camp when they were picking on smaller boy.  Still, he hasn’t quite taken the path that his father would like him to.” I thought it was more like a hobby,” his father says of Life’s superheroing. “But it became a very major part of his life. And obviously as a parent I think there are more important priorities. He’s just turned twenty-five. I’d like to see him get married. I’d like to see him have some kind of a vocation that earns a living. This is a nice thing to do on the side, you know, if you have another career. You have a family and you want to do something like this in your free time, that’s okay. But I don’t think it should be taking up the main part of your time.”
Before he became Life, Chaim was on a path that any proud Orthodox papa would approve of. He attended Yeshiva University- a college that focuses on Jewish scholarship- in New York for one year before deciding that he was too smart for the religious school. He also wanted to study film. He applied to NYU and got in (twice), but his family didn’t have the money to send him. So he left college and worked at one of the country’s top ad agencies, J Walter Thompson, where he executed the mindless task of paying invoices before realizing that he wasn’t going anywhere. He had been attending Brooklyn College at night and living in Crown Heights when his girlfriend suggested he apply to Columbia. He got in, they provided him with ample scholarships, and he was able to follow his chosen path: film studies. Little did he know that becoming a superhero would also be apart of his course of study.
Three years ago, Chaim’s friend Bend Goldman, a senior at New York’s New School, saw a sign reading “Real Life Superheroes” outside a comic book store. He was intrigued, so he Googled the term. The sign turned out to be an advertisement for a drawing class, but Goldman’s internet search revealed the rich history of the movement. Both film students, Lazaros and Goldman decided that the subject was ripe for documentation. “This whole project started off as a documentary,” Ben says. “It’s like a case of Gonzo Journalism where the documentarian becomes the subject, especially with Chaim, since he became a superhero through the project.”
“They’re very isolated in all these different communities and only communicate through MySpace and stuff like that,” Chaim says, “There had been a few very small meet-ups, but it was really this Internet culture. Basically we realized that if we made the first all-encompassing gathering of all the superheroes, then we would be able to shoot a documentary in a day.”
And so it began- the first meeting of Superheroes Anonymous. For Chaim, the convention became an all-consuming task. He barely slept. He lost fifteen pounds. He dedicated every moment to orchestrating a massive gathering to take place in New York’s Time Square. And then the duo hit a snag.
“There was a lot of this bullshit started by this one particular superhero that founded the biggest forum on the Internet for superheroes. He’s named Tothian,” Chaim says, “At the time he was respected just because he was a moderator of this forum he started.”
Tothian is a mysterious figure who resided in New Jersey and likes to keep his persona under wraps. On Facebook, his name is simply Tothian ApmhibiousKnight- He refuses to reveal his real name- and his burred picture shows a man with close-cropped hair, wearing what appears to be armor or a bulletproof vest. “I’ve been patrolling since I was about five years old,” Tothian says. “I knew form as early on in life as I can remember that I would be doing this, not as a game,” he adds. “When I was sixteen I graduated from a military high school. At seventeen I joined the Marine Reserves as an Infantryman. I’ve trained in various styles of martial arts for many years. I study criminology, private investigating and foreign languages.” Now Tothian, an ardent fan of Sherlock Holmes, patrols his local streets, striving to mitigate crime in hotspots like Newark, New Jersey. “I make it a point to never set patterns in times nor patrol routs,” Tothian says. “I have to keep it randomized for two reasons: One I don’t want people to work around my pattern. Two, I don’t want people to track me down.”
Tothian, naturally, takes the concept of being a superhero extremely seriously and was wary of the conference. His wariness, in turn lead a number of attendees to cancel their trips, including the emcee of the event, one of the oldest heroes around, dubbed, simply, Superhero. “We didn’t know them too well yet, nor what to expect,” Tothian explains. “But after we all got to know [Ben and Chaim] we saw that they’re great guys with sincere intentions and actually want to do something good for the world.”
Regardless, back in 2007 Chaim was in a bind- he didn’t want to have a meeting without an official superhero emcee. But Chaim had dons his research- he knew about the different types of superheroes, the “community crusader” in particular. “A community crusader is somebody who is not necessarily in a costume but works from within the community to move forward the cause of real-life superheroeism” Chaim explains.
After the debacle with Tothian, Chaim went to Columbia Chabad to think. “I hadn’t slept at all the night before,” he says. “It was a totally crazy week and I was like, praying and wondering, ‘Who is gonna run this thing?’ Then I realized that all the sacrifices I had been making, the thousands of dollars of my own money, all of my time and life spent toward making this happened made ma a community crusader, and therefore a superhero. And therefore I could be the one to lead this meeting. Son on Sunday when we had the meet up in Times Square, that was when I put on the mask for the first time and claimed myself ‘Life.’”
Ben, in turn, became “The Camera Man.”
“My role in Superheroes Anonymous has always been documenting what the superheroes do,” he says. He doesn’t wear a costume, and he sees this whole project as wholly short-term. He doesn’t go on patrols like Life does, but he does accompany heroes like  The Dark Guardian, a swarthy New Yorker who dresses in head-to-toe leather, when they set out on missions to Washington Square Part to take on drug dealers. Although he denies being a hero, guys like The Dark Guardian would be seriously screwed without Ben around- the fact that he wields a camera helps keep criminals in check, proving that you don’t need freezrays or super strength to fight evil.
Life’s own arsenal is rather limited as well, He carries a cell phone, a pocket knight and a backpack filled with water bottles, military-issue meals and ready to eat, granola bars, socks and whatever else he can scrape together for the homeless he tends to . After parting ways with Jowls and Comb Tracks at the abandoned building, Life takes off down the sidewalk, passing houses wreathed in blinking colored lights to stock up at the local RiteAid. He picks up a coupon book and surveys the deals under the deals under the glare of the florescent lights. “This is where my cheap Jewness comes in,” he says with a laugh, trying to decide between Rice Krispie Treats (cheaper, but less nutritionous) and granola bars. But Chaim isn’t being cheap, per se. He’s a recent college grad who makes a small wage working for the Ripple Project, a documentary film company that focuses on social issues. But being the child of a rabbit, Life was taught to give ten percent of his earnings to charity. At the register, he checks over the receipt with the same precision as a fussy mother, but then grabs a handful of chocolate to add it the finally tally. “I love giving people chocolate because they appreciate it. No one else gives them chocolates,” he says.
Outside in the cold again, Life passes a gaggle of college kids on winter break, decked out in hats and puffy jackets, “I was so fucking wasted last weekend,” a girl squeals as she disappears down the concrete while Life heads to St. John the Divine to pass out supplies to the homeless who huddle on the steps. This is one of his usual haunts, and he tried to get there before the Coalition for the Homeless arrives with boxed meals- usually the homeless scatter after the trucks roll away. But when he arrives he sees he’s too late. The Coalition for the Homeless have come and gone and the poor have likely been shooed away. All that greets him when he arrives are granite steps blanketed in snow and ropes stretching across the stairs. “Those assholes,” he mutters, nothing that the ropes were likely put in place to discourage the homeless from hanging out on the steps.
Back in the summer time, the church was like a regular homeless clubhouse, but right now it’s too cold for anyone to linger outside for long. The homeless are all in shelters or are hiding out somewhere in the darkness. Back in August Chaim had tramped down to St. John’s every week- since graduating, he’s been sorting his life out, moving to Harlem and setting up Superheroes Anonymous headquarters (a.k.a. his apartment). Last summer he had leapt up the stairs distributing vitamins and shampoo to a man named John, who wore a giraffe T-shirt and leaned heavily on a cane. Tonight John isn’t here. “I thought at least the Mexicans would be here,” Life says with a sigh.
The Mexicans usually assemble in the front doorway, huddled together under the granite saints that stare out into the darkness like blank-eyed sentinels. The men are likely here illegally and, as they told Chaim, they have “No worky. No casa. Lots of Mexicans. It’s bad.” This summer they have taught Chaim how to say razor (navaja) and toothbrush (cepillo dental) in Spanish. Chaim had asked where their friend Edguardo was and a man wearing a shirt emblazoned with mountain ranges- the kind of souvenir sweatshirt that you buy on vacation- had pointed up at the saints and uttered, “Jesus.”
“Jesus loves me?” Chaim asked, seeming to misunderstand the sentiment. It’s impossible to tell how many streets have unwittingly become graves.

Photos by Paul Quitoriano

Photos by Paul Quitoriano


Tonight, however, the streets seem free of the homeless. Life wanders past another church covered in blue twinkle lights. He sing-songs in the night jokingly, like the Pied Piper, “Heeere, homeless people. Oh, Hooooomelss people…”
“I have homeless vision,” he says. Just then he sees John, leaning on his cane across from the church. Chaim approaches the old man, shivering on the sidewalk, while college students stream by taking care to make a wide arc around him. Life presents John with handwarmers, a bottle of water and cigarettes. “Is there anything else you need?” Chaim asked. John whispers in a voice barely audible above the cutting wind, “Long underwear.”
“People always ask me how I know what to bring,” Chaim says, taking off once more across the nighttime streets. “I didn’t offer John a grain bar because he has bad teeth. But people tell you what they need. How would I know he needed long underwear if he didn’t tell me?”
And that’s one of Chaim’s greatest powers: He listens. He talked to people whom everyone avoids. The true Mr. and Mrs. Cellophanes. Chaim stops to talk to them all. IN the grand scheme of things, his actions are small- he won’t be clearing New York’s streets of the poor anytime soon, nor will he eradicate poverty and hunger. But he has no illusions in that regard. Life wants to start a movement- to inspire others to do as he does. And that’s the true purpose of Superheroes Anonymous. Chaim has taken a disparate group of misfits and rebels and given them a singular vision- shaping them into a symbol for doing good.
The night is wearing on toward midnight when Life hears a thin whine rising from a huddled mass in front of a corner bank. “I’m so cold!” squeals a man supported by a walker and little else. His pant leg is rolled up far above the knee and he’s shaking violently. “My leg is broken! I haven’t eating in three days!” the main cries as people walk briskly by him, staring steadfastly ahead. Life strides right up to him, “Here, take theses,” Life says, pressing a pack of handwarmers into the man’s shaking palms. Quickly, he hands the man water, cigarettes and the coveted chocolate. The man’s shaking continues, his voice rising in agony,” My hands are so cold.”
A woman pauses on the sidewalk, wrapped in a warm-looking black peacoat with a tailored collar. She notices Life and the man on the sidewalk- the water bottles and the chocolate. She steps forward and stuffs a handful of dollar bills into the man’s shaking cup.

Real-life superheroes

Originally pubished : http://www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/real-life-superheroes.php
With DIY superhero Kick-Ass bursting into cinemas, we meet the real men and women who have dedicated their lives to helping others…
Squeegeeman
realheroes-squeegeeman-431x300
Who? A “mass do-gooder” who vows to rid New York of both crime and grime. His superhero weapon of choice? A squeegee.
Why? Claiming to have been born with “Super-squeegee abilities”, Squeegeeman not only fights crime, but also goes on hospital visits, plants trees and collects money for charity. He claims that when someone walks down a clean street in New York or makes it home without getting mugged, they have him to thank, which kind of steals credit away from the city street-cleaners and the NYPD.
Movie hero equivalent: WALL•E, the only movie character to equal Squeegeeman’s superhuman dedication to cleaning and tidying.
Entomo, the Insect Man of Napels
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Who? This Italian hero claims a near-death experience connected him to “a spiritual plane of existence involving insects”.
Why? Entomo lists his superpowers as sharpened senses, agility and an insect-like psychic ability he calls ‘parallelogram’ – apparently this helps him to establish “a specific psychological/physical profile only based on tiny, almost insignificant details”. Entomo battles criminals as well as corrupt politicians, and he even has his own superhero catchphrase: “Hear my buzz, fear my bite: I inject justice”. Catchy.
Movie hero equivalent: Spider-Man, who also developed creepy-crawly superpowers of agility and a special ‘spidey sense’.
Terrifica
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Who? A guardian fighting for sobriety, chastity and the way home for drunk, vulnerable females in need of protection from lusty men.
Why? Like a disapproving parent in a costume, Terrifica patrols bars and parties in New York late at night defending inebriated women from lecherous guys looking to take advantage while armed with pepper spray, a camera and Smarties (to keep her energy levels up). Curiously, she even has her own arch-nemesis, Fantastico, a ‘supervillain’ lothario who dresses in velvet and skulks around bars trying to pick up defenceless women.
Movie hero equivalent: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who also rescued damsels in distress from preying monsters and predators.
Zetaman
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Who? A self-confessed nerd who adopted a costume and name to be more like the superheroes in his favourite comics.
Why? While Zetaman tries to steer clear of actual crime-fighting (“I guess it sounds kind of less heroic, but I don’t want to die”), he arms himself with a collapsible baton, a stun gun, an air horn and a mobile phone just in case. The most important items in his arsenal, however, are blankets, gloves, socks and sandwiches which he hands out to the men and women who are forced to live on the streets of his home town Portland, Oregon.
Movie hero equivalent: Superman, who shares Zetaman’s humanitarian attitude and his chest-based insignia.
Angle-Grinder Man
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Who? A costumed vigilante who fights the system by offering a free wheel-clamp removal service for frustrated motorists in the UK.
Why? Rebelling against what he considers to be oppressive measures such as congestion charges, CCTV and speed cameras, Angle-Grinder Man takes a stand against “arrogant” politicians by providing wheel-clamp aid to persecuted vehicle owners in Kent and London (at weekends). His website lists his mobile number for such emergencies, presumably because no one has access to a giant Angle-Grinder signal light to shine in the sky.
Movie hero equivalent: V from V For Vendetta, another British vigilante who fights against a corrupt government.
Master Legend
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Who? A costumed crime-fighter who claims to have psychic abilities, as well as powers bestowed to him by a voodoo queen.
Why? The daddy of superheroes, Master Legend has been thwarting criminals for over a decade and the local sheriff in his hometown of Winter Park, Florida has even confirmed that the masked hero has helped with many arrests. With his own means of transport (the Legend Cycle) and armed with his Master Blaster personal cannon (a spud gun), this old defender shows no sign of hanging up his tights any time soon.
Movie hero equivalent: Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men who also has psychic powers (minus the silver body armour).
Superbarrio
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Who? A Mexican hero who takes a realistic approach to fighting crime and corruption: by organising labour rallies and filing petitions.
Why? Donning a red-and-yellow costume, complete with wrestler’s mask, Superbarrio is a champion for the working class and homeless of Mexico City. His work protecting low-income neighbourhoods by leading protests and challenging court decisions has resulted in the hefty campaigner becoming a folk legend – he even had a giant-size statue erected in his honour and once met with Fidel Castro.
Movie hero equivalent: Nacho Libre, the tubby Mexican wrestler who also has a secret identity.
Dark Guardian
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Who? Criminals of New York beware! This highly-trained martial artist is “dedicated to making the world a better place”.
Why? Despite going through some costume changes in the past, Dark Guardian is a committed superhero who claims to have helped the police in apprehending various drug dealers and tracking down an illegal gambling den. Unlike most of his other superhero colleagues, he does not keep his true identity secret – his real name is Chris Pollack. Dark Guardian sounds better though.
Movie hero equivalent: Batman, the Dark Knight, as another hero of the night fighting against injustice.
Citizen Prime
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Who? A recently retired superhero who fought crime in $4000 body armour and helped to found the Worldwide Heroes Organization.
Why? A financial executive by day, Citizen Prime would patrol the streets clad in a helmet, breastplate, pads and codpiece and was also particularly involved in his local community, often visiting youth centres and schools. News of his retirement was met with much mourning among the real-life superhero community, although criminals in his area presumably rejoiced.
Movie hero equivalent: Robocop, who wore similar armour and shared his attitude towards promoting good citizenship.
Death’s Head Moth
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Who? Strikes fear into criminals with sinister imagery and a scary name. Probably doesn’t do many school visits.
Why? Armed with ‘moth-a-rangs’ (specially made metal throwing ninja stars shaped like moths) and a dark, brooding attitude, Deaths Head Moth fights crime in Norfolk, Virginia and is a well-known name in the superhero community, often teaming up with other heroes and being an active member of the Great Lakes Heroes Guild.
Movie hero equivalent: Rorschach, the cynical anti-hero in Watchmen who has an attitude as fearsome as his fighting skills.
Tothian
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Who? Dispensing with the costume and novelties, Tothian focuses on the most important part of being a superhero: fighting crime.
Why? Having served five years in the Marine Reserves, Tothian has the discipline, as well as the physical capabilities, to treat crime-fighting as a serious calling. Claiming that martial arts is only one aspect of the training required to be a superhero (he also lists law, criminology, forensics and first aid, among others), this patrolling defender uses his special expertise to prevent crime and ensure the safety of the residents in his hometown, New Jersey.
Movie hero equivalent: Steven Seagal in every one of his movies. He has the combat skills and mental attitude to take criminals down
Captain Prospect
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Who? Founder of the Capital City Super Squad, a team of superheroes who help to protect and serve Washington DC.
Why? Along with his superhero colleagues Nice Ninja, Spark, Siren, Justice, DC Guardian and The Puzzler, Captain Prospect helps the people of Washington DC by undertaking safety patrols, contributing to community events and organising fundraisers, as well as feeding the homeless. This patriotic do-gooder even chose the colours and design of his costume to reflect the DC flag.
Movie hero equivalent: Captain America, the leader of The Avengers, who will be starring in his own movie due out in 2011.
Mr. Xtreme
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Who? Part of the Xtreme Justice League, a team of costumed superheroes who tackle violent crime on the streets of San Diego.
Why? Using a camouflage mask with bug-shaped mesh eye-holes to keep his identity secret, Mr Xtreme patrols the streets late at night armed with a stun-gun, pepper spray and handcuffs in order to apprehend criminals as well as promote a positive message to youngsters and raise public awareness about local crime. By day, however, Mr Xtreme is merely a mild-mannered security guard. Presumably, he takes the mask off then.
Movie hero equivalent: David Dunn (Bruce Willis) from Unbreakable, a security guard who discovers he has superhero-like abilities.
Shadow Hare
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Who? A caped crusader who fights crime on the streets of Cincinatti with the ominous symbol of a demonic rabbit on his chest.
Why? Declaring to “see the shadows of shadows”, this costumed hero claims to have stopped “many evil doers, such as drug dealers, muggers, rapists and crazy hobos with pipes”. Despite being a trained martial artist who carries mace, a taser and handcuffs, Shadow Hare actually dislocated his shoulder while assisting a woman who was being robbed, just to prove that you shouldn’t be trying this at home. Luckily he can speed away on his Segway scooter if the fight gets too much for him.
Movie hero equivalent: Frank, the demonic rabbit from Donnie Darko who also liked to stick to the shadows.
Polar Man
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Who? Hardly a crime-fighter, this local hero helps his community by shovelling snow off the steps for day-care centres and the elderly.
Why? Hailing from Nunavut, a particularly icy region of North Canada, Polarman is the friendly neighbourhood superhero who, as well as clearing snow for those in need, helps to keep playgrounds in order for the local kids and deters vandals. He is said to model himself on a man in Inuit legend who provided food and clothing to the poor while riding a polar bear.
Movie hero equivalent: Iceman, the sub-zero superhero from the X-Men who doesn’t, unfortunately, ride on a polar bear.

Superheroes Anonymous

Photos by Paul Quitoriano

Photos by Paul Quitoriano


Originally posted in Death + Taxes Magainze MarchApril 2010 issue
Scanned pages:
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Missing page 3- Admin
By Breena Ehrlich
Hollywood abounds with stories these days. But somewhere out there just beyond the shadows, from New York City to Mexico City to New Bedford, Massachusetts, lurks a bona fide, HONEST TO GOD NETWORK OF REAL REAL –LIFE SUPERHEROES. They are not Watchmen. They are not even Kick-Ass or Red Mist. No bullet-proof vest, no Chinese stars. These are normal people- students, bankers, what have you. They just happen to patrol over society in costume, fighting crime and doing good deeds under aliases like Life and The Dark Guardian. They are Superheroes Anonymous. For real.
What’s going on here?” Life asks, ambling up to a pair of cops as they peer though the dusty glass doors of a seemingly abandoned building. The copes turn around, take in the young man’s young face; he looks like one of the Culkin brothers- like that kind from Igby Goes Down. The kid’s fedora is set at a jaunty angle, his black cargo pants are tucked into black jungle boots, his backpack weighs down his shoulders, even though they’re thrown back confidently. He looks like a Brooklyn-dweller. A college student. A kid. Perhaps a nosy kid, the kind that watched too many cops shows as a kid. They probably don’t notice the black mask hanging from his belt loop, or the tzitzis poking out the bottom of his black winter coat.
One of the cops, a jowly man with buzzed hair and a gently swelling belly, gives Life a slight smile. “WE got a call. Some woman can’t get a hold of her husband who’s a security guard. She says she works here, but this place seems abandoned,” he answers with surprising candor and a perfectly stereotypical New York Accent.
“Yeah,” says the other cop, running his hand over his slicked-back gray hair, which still has comb tracks in it from earlier grooming. “I mean, there’s tap on the windows. That means it’s abandoned, right?”
The copes continue to peer though the darkened windows as Life jumps down to inspect a basement-level door. The radios on their belts buzz and crackle: “The missing child is approximately four feet tall, wearing a striped sweater. The suspect-“ Life joins the copes on the steps in mutual consideration of the darkened building, a gray stone apartment building near the Columbia University campus- close enough to Riverside Park that the assemblage can feel the cold air off the water buffeting their backs and faces. The jowly cop’s cheeks are red.
The men in blue bang on the door a few times and then turn to Life with equally stern brows. “Stand back,” says the gray haired cop and positions his shoulders as if to break the door down. Life hops back a little and the cops laugh. “Just Kidding,” Comb Tracks says.
“So are you a student?” Jowls inquires, apparently in no hurry to solve the mystery of the missing security guard.
“No, actually I’m a Real-Life Superhero, Life says with a slight smile, fingering the mask that hangs from his side. The cops look at each other with raised eyebrows and more than a hint of amusement.
“Oh yeah? Well, can you tell us where Columbia security is?” Jowls says with a brief smile. “Maybe they can help us figure out where this guard is
Life gives them directions and follows them to their car,” I can get in and go with you guys if you’d like…” he says, lingering near the cruiser.
“Ha, ha, nah,” says Jowls. “Thanks.” The cops drive off into the night, leaving Life and his backpack in front of the darkened building.
With the squad car disappears the glimmer of danger, the opportunity to race off in the night, the blue and red flashing. In a movie or a comic book this would be the point where our hero’s story really heats up: He discovers that the mission guard has been captured by an evil avenger with a rampant disdain for any and all authority figures- and now the poor old man is being held hostage in some fortress in the dark recesses of Governor’s Island. And because the bumbling cops neglected to adequately hunt for clues our hero is tasked with his safe return. But this is not a move. This is no adaptation- just plain old New York.  IN the realm of the real, Life watched the cruiser disappears into the night, sighs a puff of cold-etched air, and jaywalks across the street. As he hops from the sidewalk, his boots clearing the curb, he indulges a brief exclamation: “Zing!”
LIFE A.K.A. CHAIM LAZAROS is a real-life superhero- designation that would likely cause many a reader to snort in derision or laugh in abject mockery. Visions of plump, sad comic book fans in spandex leap to mind- images of computer geeks wandering around darkened streets, desperately seeking some nefarious B-level crime to debunk. That’s not Life. Life is a do-gooder. He doesn’t fight crime per se– he takes to the streets and provides aid to the poor souls who many of us outright ignore: the homeless.
In a sense, this is his superpower. Where comic superheroes might manifest their powers through a supernatural affinity for controlling the weather or assuming arachnid capabilities, Life’s chosen specialty is the homeless- although he’s the first to admit that he doesn’t actually have any special abilities. “I hate when people ask where my cape is,” Life says. “Capes are stupid and ineffective. No one flies… I don’t have any super powers,” he adds. “I’m just a person. A poor, young person in New York City- and I help a lot of people. I’m not special.” Nevertheless, as his name suggests, Life provides sustenance and, well, life, to the downtrodden, specializing in a particular realm of aid- and to do so he tapes into his two natural abilities: kindness and an aptitude for spin. Life is a natural PR man, an organizer who uses the aesthetic of the super hero, the sheer flashiness of the concept, to attract others to his cause.
Photos by Paul Quitoriano

Photos by Paul Quitoriano


Life is one of the heads of Superheroes Anonymous, a collective of citizen who have made it their mission to do good by the world. Some do it in much the same way as Coalition for the Homeless or Habitat for Humanity, and some do it with the more dangerous, risky flair of vigalantes- but they all do it in costume. Each year it holds a sizable conference during which heroes from all over the world assemble. So far there have been three conferences: one in Times Square, New York City, one in New Orleans, and the most recent in New Bedford, Massachusetts, also known as The Secret City due to its large volume of unsolved homicides.
Superheroes Anonymous, which coalesced into its current state in 2007, hardly marks the first incarnation of real-life superhero-dom, although it is probably the most organized superhero affiliation. According to a history written by Hardwire, a hero from Greensboro, North Carolina, the first real-life superhero date back to the seventeenth century- his name was William Lamport, or Zorro. The modern ideal of real-life heroes started to solidify in the seventies with Captain Sticky, a man by the name of Richard Pesta who would patrol San Diego in a bubble-topped Lincoln clad in blue tights and a cape, working to launch investigations into elder care. And then there was Rick Rojatt, a daredevil known as The Human Fly, whose entire family was killed in a car crash that left him temporarily crippled. The nineties heralded the arrival of Marco Rascon Cordova, a Mexico City resident who became Superbarrio and championed the poor and working class, and Terrifica, a New Yorker who took it upon herself to protect drunken women from unwanted advances. And then there’s Civitron, a father and former counselor for children in transition who patrols New Bedford, Massachusetts with his son, The Mad Owl, a superhero-in-the-making with a love for woodland creatures.
In short, this underground community was flourishing, the network reaching across the world. But it was a fractured connection; these do-gooders mostly communicated via Internet forums and MySpace pages, connected only through the currents of the digital age- until Life came along.
Like all superheroes, life has his own creation myth, which more closely mirrors that of the famed comic book authors that of yore than the apocryphal tales of Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne. Like the majority of old-school creators- immigrants and children of immigrants who invented heroes to battle the myriad woes of their woes- Lazaros is a Jew, the son of an Orthodox rabbi who has seven children in all. The second –oldest child, Lazaros is kind of the black sheet. “He’s a very idealistic kid and he has a lot of pity on people that are downtrodden and homeless. He’s a do-gooder and he wants to do go,” his father says, recalling how, as a child, Life took on his entire bunk at sleepaway camp when they were picking on smaller boy.  Still, he hasn’t quite taken the path that his father would like him to.” I thought it was more like a hobby,” his father says of Life’s superheroing. “But it became a very major part of his life. And obviously as a parent I think there are more important priorities. He’s just turned twenty-five. I’d like to see him get married. I’d like to see him have some kind of a vocation that earns a living. This is a nice thing to do on the side, you know, if you have another career. You have a family and you want to do something like this in your free time, that’s okay. But I don’t think it should be taking up the main part of your time.”
Before he became Life, Chaim was on a path that any proud Orthodox papa would approve of. He attended Yeshiva University- a college that focuses on Jewish scholarship- in New York for one year before deciding that he was too smart for the religious school. He also wanted to study film. He applied to NYU and got in (twice), but his family didn’t have the money to send him. So he left college and worked at one of the country’s top ad agencies, J Walter Thompson, where he executed the mindless task of paying invoices before realizing that he wasn’t going anywhere. He had been attending Brooklyn College at night and living in Crown Heights when his girlfriend suggested he apply to Columbia. He got in, they provided him with ample scholarships, and he was able to follow his chosen path: film studies. Little did he know that becoming a superhero would also be apart of his course of study.
Three years ago, Chaim’s friend Bend Goldman, a senior at New York’s New School, saw a sign reading “Real Life Superheroes” outside a comic book store. He was intrigued, so he Googled the term. The sign turned out to be an advertisement for a drawing class, but Goldman’s internet search revealed the rich history of the movement. Both film students, Lazaros and Goldman decided that the subject was ripe for documentation. “This whole project started off as a documentary,” Ben says. “It’s like a case of Gonzo Journalism where the documentarian becomes the subject, especially with Chaim, since he became a superhero through the project.”
“They’re very isolated in all these different communities and only communicate through MySpace and stuff like that,” Chaim says, “There had been a few very small meet-ups, but it was really this Internet culture. Basically we realized that if we made the first all-encompassing gathering of all the superheroes, then we would be able to shoot a documentary in a day.”
And so it began- the first meeting of Superheroes Anonymous. For Chaim, the convention became an all-consuming task. He barely slept. He lost fifteen pounds. He dedicated every moment to orchestrating a massive gathering to take place in New York’s Time Square. And then the duo hit a snag.
“There was a lot of this bullshit started by this one particular superhero that founded the biggest forum on the Internet for superheroes. He’s named Tothian,” Chaim says, “At the time he was respected just because he was a moderator of this forum he started.”
Tothian is a mysterious figure who resided in New Jersey and likes to keep his persona under wraps. On Facebook, his name is simply Tothian ApmhibiousKnight- He refuses to reveal his real name- and his burred picture shows a man with close-cropped hair, wearing what appears to be armor or a bulletproof vest. “I’ve been patrolling since I was about five years old,” Tothian says. “I knew form as early on in life as I can remember that I would be doing this, not as a game,” he adds. “When I was sixteen I graduated from a military high school. At seventeen I joined the Marine Reserves as an Infantryman. I’ve trained in various styles of martial arts for many years. I study criminology, private investigating and foreign languages.” Now Tothian, an ardent fan of Sherlock Holmes, patrols his local streets, striving to mitigate crime in hotspots like Newark, New Jersey. “I make it a point to never set patterns in times nor patrol routs,” Tothian says. “I have to keep it randomized for two reasons: One I don’t want people to work around my pattern. Two, I don’t want people to track me down.”
Photos by Paul Quitoriano

Photos by Paul Quitoriano


Tothian, naturally, takes the concept of being a superhero extremely seriously and was wary of the conference. His wariness, in turn lead a number of attendees to cancel their trips, including the emcee of the event, one of the oldest heroes around, dubbed, simply, Superhero. “We didn’t know them too well yet, nor what to expect,” Tothian explains. “But after we all got to know [Ben and Chaim] we saw that they’re great guys with sincere intentions and actually want to do something good for the world.”
Regardless, back in 2007 Chaim was in a bind- he didn’t want to have a meeting without an official superhero emcee. But Chaim had dons his research- he knew about the different types of superheroes, the “community crusader” in particular. “A community crusader is somebody who is not necessarily in a costume but works from within the community to move forward the cause of real-life superheroeism” Chaim explains.
After the debacle with Tothian, Chaim went to Columbia Chabad to think. “I hadn’t slept at all the night before,” he says. “It was a totally crazy week and I was like, praying and wondering, ‘Who is gonna run this thing?’ Then I realized that all the sacrifices I had been making, the thousands of dollars of my own money, all of my time and life spent toward making this happened made ma a community crusader, and therefore a superhero. And therefore I could be the one to lead this meeting. Son on Sunday when we had the meet up in Times Square, that was when I put on the mask for the first time and claimed myself ‘Life.’”
Ben, in turn, became “The Camera Man.”
“My role in Superheroes Anonymous has always been documenting what the superheroes do,” he says. He doesn’t wear a costume, and he sees this whole project as wholly short-term. He doesn’t go on patrols like Life does, but he does accompany heroes like  The Dark Guardian, a swarthy New Yorker who dresses in head-to-toe leather, when they set out on missions to Washington Square Part to take on drug dealers. Although he denies being a hero, guys like The Dark Guardian would be seriously screwed without Ben around- the fact that he wields a camera helps keep criminals in check, proving that you don’t need freezrays or super strength to fight evil.
Life’s own arsenal is rather limited as well, He carries a cell phone, a pocket knight and a backpack filled with water bottles, military-issue meals and ready to eat, granola bars, socks and whatever else he can scrape together for the homeless he tends to . After parting ways with Jowls and Comb Tracks at the abandoned building, Life takes off down the sidewalk, passing houses wreathed in blinking colored lights to stock up at the local RiteAid. He picks up a coupon book and surveys the deals under the deals under the glare of the florescent lights. “This is where my cheap Jewness comes in,” he says with a laugh, trying to decide between Rice Krispie Treats (cheaper, but less nutritionous) and granola bars. But Chaim isn’t being cheap, per se. He’s a recent college grad who makes a small wage working for the Ripple Project, a documentary film company that focuses on social issues. But being the child of a rabbit, Life was taught to give ten percent of his earnings to charity. At the register, he checks over the receipt with the same precision as a fussy mother, but then grabs a handful of chocolate to add it the finally tally. “I love giving people chocolate because they appreciate it. No one else gives them chocolates,” he says.
Outside in the cold again, Life passes a gaggle of college kids on winter break, decked out in hats and puffy jackets, “I was so fucking wasted last weekend,” a girl squeals as she disappears down the concrete while Life heads to St. John the Divine to pass out supplies to the homeless who huddle on the steps. This is one of his usual haunts, and he tried to get there before the Coalition for the Homeless arrives with boxed meals- usually the homeless scatter after the trucks roll away. But when he arrives he sees he’s too late. The Coalition for the Homeless have come and gone and the poor have likely been shooed away. All that greets him when he arrives are granite steps blanketed in snow and ropes stretching across the stairs. “Those assholes,” he mutters, nothing that the ropes were likely put in place to discourage the homeless from hanging out on the steps.
Back in the summer time, the church was like a regular homeless clubhouse, but right now it’s too cold for anyone to linger outside for long. The homeless are all in shelters or are hiding out somewhere in the darkness. Back in August Chaim had tramped down to St. John’s every week- since graduating, he’s been sorting his life out, moving to Harlem and setting up Superheroes Anonymous headquarters (a.k.a. his apartment). Last summer he had leapt up the stairs distributing vitamins and shampoo to a man named John, who wore a giraffe T-shirt and leaned heavily on a cane. Tonight John isn’t here. “I thought at least the Mexicans would be here,” Life says with a sigh.
The Mexicans usually assemble in the front doorway, huddled together under the granite saints that stare out into the darkness like blank-eyed sentinels. The men are likely here illegally and, as they told Chaim, they have “No worky. No casa. Lots of Mexicans. It’s bad.” This summer they have taught Chaim how to say razor (navaja) and toothbrush (cepillo dental) in Spanish. Chaim had asked where their friend Edguardo was and a man wearing a shirt emblazoned with mountain ranges- the kind of souvenir sweatshirt that you buy on vacation- had pointed up at the saints and uttered, “Jesus.”
“Jesus loves me?” Chaim asked, seeming to misunderstand the sentiment. It’s impossible to tell how many streets have unwittingly become graves.
Photos by Paul Quitoriano

Photos by Paul Quitoriano


Tonight, however, the streets seem free of the homeless. Life wanders past another church covered in blue twinkle lights. He sing-songs in the night jokingly, like the Pied Piper, “Heeere, homeless people. Oh, Hooooomelss people…”
“I have homeless vision,” he says. Just then he sees John, leaning on his cane across from the church. Chaim approaches the old man, shivering on the sidewalk, while college students stream by taking care to make a wide arc around him. Life presents John with handwarmers, a bottle of water and cigarettes. “Is there anything else you need?” Chaim asked. John whispers in a voice barely audible above the cutting wind, “Long underwear.”
“People always ask me how I know what to bring,” Chaim says, taking off once more across the nighttime streets. “I didn’t offer John a grain bar because he has bad teeth. But people tell you what they need. How would I know he needed long underwear if he didn’t tell me?”
And that’s one of Chaim’s greatest powers: He listens. He talked to people whom everyone avoids. The true Mr. and Mrs. Cellophanes. Chaim stops to talk to them all. IN the grand scheme of things, his actions are small- he won’t be clearing New York’s streets of the poor anytime soon, nor will he eradicate poverty and hunger. But he has no illusions in that regard. Life wants to start a movement- to inspire others to do as he does. And that’s the true purpose of Superheroes Anonymous. Chaim has taken a disparate group of misfits and rebels and given them a singular vision- shaping them into a symbol for doing good.
The night is wearing on toward midnight when Life hears a thin whine rising from a huddled mass in front of a corner bank. “I’m so cold!” squeals a man supported by a walker and little else. His pant leg is rolled up far above the knee and he’s shaking violently. “My leg is broken! I haven’t eating in three days!” the main cries as people walk briskly by him, staring steadfastly ahead. Life strides right up to him, “Here, take theses,” Life says, pressing a pack of handwarmers into the man’s shaking palms. Quickly, he hands the man water, cigarettes and the coveted chocolate. The man’s shaking continues, his voice rising in agony,” My hands are so cold.”
A woman pauses on the sidewalk, wrapped in a warm-looking black peacoat with a tailored collar. She notices Life and the man on the sidewalk- the water bottles and the chocolate. She steps forward and stuffs a handful of dollar bills into the man’s shaking cup.

The astounding adventures of the Wall Creeper, Colorado's own superhero

By Joel Warner
You don’t exist. You think nothing, you feel nothing, you are nothing. That’s the secret to becoming invisible, to becoming the Wall Creeper.
And he is surely invisible tonight. No one notices as the lean nineteen-year-old makes his way across Civic Center Park and up the granite front steps of the State Capitol. He’s just another night prowler, bundled up against the cold in a black leather jacket.
Probably no one would pay attention even if he were wearing his full battle suit: The Kevlar composite vest, the blunt-trauma pads strapped to his martial arts-toned arms and legs, the custom-designed full-face covering purchased from Hero-Gear.net. Most people go through life in a stupor. It’s like what Master Legend — who’s been battling Florida evildoers for more than a quarter-century — says: “It’s not that a man becomes invisible; it’s just that a man becomes invisible to everybody else. If you are an outcast that nobody cares about, no one notices you.”
In other words, people don’t see what they don’t expect — and no one expects to see somebody like the Wall Creeper, a flesh-and-blood superhero.
Nevertheless, the Wall Creeper can’t risk wearing his battle suit. Not tonight, his first Denver patrol. He doesn’t yet know the city like he knows the Colorado mountain towns and rural communities he’s spent three years patrolling. Until he finds his footing here, there’s no need to attract attention. So all he carries, folded and tucked in his breast pocket, is the most important piece: the black mask he places over his mouth and nose like some terrible demon beak. It’s inscribed with an ornate “W” intertwined with a serpent-like “C” — the insignia of the Wall Creeper.
He paces at the foot of the Capitol building, waiting for his colleague Zen Blade to arrive. He’s edgy, too distracted by his nerves to scope out nearby walls and obstacles for footholds in case he needs to wall-creep to a good vantage point or escape route. He’s never met the Aurora crime fighter who wears a triple-crescent logo on his chest and knit cap, along with aviator-style goggles, but from what he’s learned of him online, the two have much in common. That’s why he contacted Zen Blade and suggested they meet up tonight, to join forces as they prowl the streets.
While the Wall Creeper waits, the city below him seethes. Somewhere nearby, a siren wails. In the shadows of Civic Center Park, a group of men holler and tussle. Maybe they’re playing around, maybe not. On the side of the Denver Newspaper Agency building, the block-long LCD news display scrolls through its never-ending inventory of despair. Drug dealers. Rapists. Pedophiles.
To the Wall Creeper, it seems that with each passing moment the world is getting worse, the shadows deepening, the hands ticking closer to midnight. That’s why he’s taking a stand, hopefully before it’s too late. He’ll stand guard, never resting, as it is written in Isaiah 62:6: “I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem. They will never be silent day or night. Whoever calls on the Lord, do not give yourselves any rest, and do not give him any rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it an object of praise throughout the earth.”
A man in a black leather coat approaches. “Waiting for someone?” he asks.
“Zen Blade?” responds the Wall Creeper, extending a hand. Zen Blade, several years older and bulkier than Wall Creeper, left his suit at home, too, but is nonetheless ready to patrol. “Let’s go,” he says.
The night awaits.


Nobody knows my whole story,” the Wall Creeper says when he first consents to an interview. “Most nineteen-year-olds are just trying to get lucky and get drunk. I want to save the world. It’s taken over my life, and I’m happy with that.” But people need to know he’s not just some vigilante or costumed weirdo, he explains. (And, to be clear, he prefers to be called a crime fighter, not a defender, warrior or costumed activist. Worst of the bunch, he says, is probably “real-life superhero.” After all, no one would say “real-life police officer.”)
“My greatest desire is to aid the police in stopping crime in this great city,” he writes in an e-mail. “Every fiber of my being wants to patrol, to aid, to help the citizens of this city, and the real heroes, the police and firemen, in Denver.”
To explain why, he agrees to meet — under strict and secretive conditions. He’ll only show up at a public, neutral location — a quiet park in a metro-area suburb near where he’s been patrolling the past few months or, on cold days, in a nearby chain restaurant. He wears unremarkable civilian clothes over his lithe physique, and there’s none of the swagger or eagerness of other guys his age. Smiles, for example, are few and far between. He’s the type who blends into a crowd, the last one anyone would expect to be rounding up villains or crushing crime syndicates.
He refuses to disclose where he lives. Anyone who knows, he explains, would be in danger if a criminal tried to use him to get to the Wall Creeper. “It’s like the Batcave,” he says wryly, though he’s quick to point out that he’s never been a big fan of comic books. Getting him to reveal his real name is clearly not an option.
The tale he divulges over several weeks is impossible to verify. He won’t disclose the names of relevant locations, and he says the few people who are close to him, like his father, are reluctant to talk. But the veracity of the events he describes seems less important than the assurance with which he describes them. Each of his stories, each of his memories, is real enough for him to have created the Wall Creeper.


He ran and ran. The freshman boy who would become the Wall Creeper ran every afternoon through the hot, barren plains of South Texas. He ran alone, three to four miles at a stretch, until he could hit a 5:25 mile and had somehow willed away his asthma attacks. He ran even though he hated it, even though it left him ragged for the grueling tae kwon do classes he took later each afternoon. He ran to keep sane, to block out the physical and verbal abuse he suffered at school. He ran so he’d be able to fight back.
And he ran because something inside him told him he had to, that the agony he felt was leading up to something, that he was destined for something great.
It wasn’t always like this. When he was younger, growing up in suburban Oklahoma, there was nothing to run away from. Playing street hockey, learning Christian ideals of right and wrong from his strict but loving parents, watching Batman (the ones with Michael Keaton, whom he considers the only real Batman) — it all seemed right. He especially loved the peach tree in his yard, the one that grew fruit so fat and juicy it would split from within. He’d climb up the tree’s trunk and nap within its thick branches, just as he’d shimmy up light poles and scale chain-link fences. He climbed because it was exhilarating and was something no one else could do, and because at the top he got to live, just for a moment, in his own special world.
He can’t remember exactly when things changed. For reasons he can’t explain, his recollections are fractured and disjointed, his memory cut short by parts he seems to have blocked out. One of the turning points, however, came on a night when he was eleven or twelve. Walking home from a street hockey game, he saw a teenager leading away a young girl he knew, saying to her, “I’m going to take you home, and we’ll see what’s under your skirt.” Hearing that, something snapped. He attacked the teenager, he says, fighting until the older boy ran away. After that, things get fuzzy.
He says he took the girl to her empty house and, to watch over her once she was inside, quietly scaled the one-story residence and waited on the roof until her parents returned. That was his first “wall creep,” he says now, a technique that would later become his signature move. For a while, though, the whole episode seemed so incredible, he wasn’t sure it had actually happened; as he wrote about the wall-creeping part of the night in his journal last year, “Someone inside me (probably a lie) tells me this.”
Whatever happened, the episode changed him.
“That night, I realized the dark underside of the world,” he wrote. “People as a whole squirm and are crippled by their lies, false beliefs…expectations and society. This perversion could not be ignored by me…I decided to be something inhuman to exonerate myself from human weakness, at least in part.”
The human weakness he witnessed around him only worsened when, not long after this incident, he and his family moved to Texas. His memories of middle school there are bleak. A gray prison of a school building, with no heat or windows to let in the sun. First-period physical education classes spent running the school grounds in ragged gym clothes, the early morning haze illuminated by the piles of burning trash school workers would ignite. Bullies everywhere, attacking the new kid and scrawling curse words all over his clothes.
High school was no better. It was a sprawling warehouse-like place packed with 7,000 students. Someone like him got lost in the flood.
While he was locked away in these dismal fortresses, something new and fierce was growing inside him, struggling to get out. “In the turmoil of this dangerously weak emotional state was born a new face,” he says now. “While most kids my age succumbed to apathy, not really caring about others or what was morally right, I became filled with empathy, to the point where I knew I would sacrifice myself for another.”
He needed a body to match his taut new mental state, so he took up tae kwon do and a rigorous running regimen, even though he hated it. He had no choice, he told himself; he was destined for something great.


Pray for me.”
That’s what he said right before his first crime-fighting patrol. He was talking to a classmate at whose house he was spending the night. The classmate, a friend from his junior class, had agreed to help out with his crazy scheme. While the kid wasn’t coming along for the outing, he had offered his parents’ home as a base of operations, since it was located near the center of the Colorado mountain town where the would-be crime fighter and his family had moved from Texas the year before.
The Wall Creeper still shivers nervously thinking about that evening: how the two boys spent the hours leading up to the patrol, almost too anxious to talk. How glancing at the duffel bag of equipment he’d spent weeks preparing made him feel like he was about to get on a roller-coaster ride, one without a visible end. What would happen if he got caught? Would he be arrested? Would the embarrassment ruin his family? By 10 p.m., he’d done enough wondering. It was time to go.
He’d hatched the plan two months earlier, the day he claims he got a call from a police detective who was looking for a guy he knew, a friend of a friend who’d recently skipped town. The detective said the guy had been abusing a little girl. Afterward, he sat in his bedroom feeling trapped, all the old anger flooding back.
After moving to Colorado, things had briefly gotten better for the boy. His new school was small, intimate, populated with teachers and students who seemed to care. But then he started hearing about drugs at parties, stuff like heroin and ecstasy. Classmates he thought were respectable turned out to be dealers. And with each passing week, the local crime blotter filled with ever more reports of robberies, assaults and worse.
The detective’s call was the final straw. It seemed to him the town was falling apart, with the police too understaffed to do anything about it. The ones who’d suffer the consequences were the children — kids like his own little sister.
“I realized I was all alone against what was happening,” he says. “It was an innocent town, a loving town that turned to drugs. And my little sister was going to have to grow up in that, and I wouldn’t allow that.”
That night, surrounded by papier-mâché masks and fantasy posters he’d hung on his bedroom walls, he realized something incredible: Maybe he could make a difference. “I have been training. I can do something. It’s not like I am just some common guy,” he thought. “I’ve been training for this all my life and didn’t realize it.”
The creature struggling inside him was about to be let out. As an unassuming high school student, he had the perfect cover to learn about the drugs and dealers. He could handle himself in a fight, having continued his obsessive physical training. All he needed was a way to protect his identity in this insular mountain town.
In other words, he needed a battle suit. The outfit he built over the next two months was a mixture of practicality and drama, something he hoped would protect him but also strike fear into the hearts of evildoers. He bought a full-face balaclava from a ski shop, obtained a paintball ballistics vest from a military surplus store and salvaged the arm and leg pads he’d used in his street hockey days. Everything was black, to blend in with the night. He armed himself with swords, two short blades he named Twitch and Wind. And while the grappling hook he tried never worked, he was pleased with the black cape he’d designed with sewn-in umbrella ribs that he could raise like demon wings.
But he still needed a name, something terrifying. Since the Wall Creeper persona had yet to come to him, he instead thought back to the time as a toddler when he’d wandered into his family’s backyard playhouse and found its walls writhing with the pulsing wings of hundreds of moths. The door had slammed behind him and the creatures had taken flight, pouring over his tiny body, consuming him. He couldn’t remember what happened next — the memory breaks off — but the revulsion he still felt about it was enough to inspire the perfect name: the Mothman.
And now, as he stepped quietly out of his classmate’s house, the Mothman was ready to take flight.
The masked young man had no particular destination in mind as he walked down the quiet street that warm summer night. He was essentially taking his suit for a test drive, to see what might happen. He didn’t have to wait long to find out.
Just a few doors down, the Mothman froze as a motion-sensitive garage-door light flicked on, illuminating a deer on an evening stroll. He considered it for a moment, until he realized he wasn’t the only one watching. A couple was observing the deer from their nearby porch — and then turned and looked right at him.
He did the only thing he could think of. He raised his horrible black wings like some fiendish beast rearing out of the darkness. If this was to be the Mothman’s coming-out party, he’d be damned if he didn’t leave an impression.
That’s when the cop car rolled down the street.
He couldn’t believe it. What were the odds that one of the town’s meager police force would show up right here, right now? Instinctively, he dropped to the ground and covered himself with his cape, hoping, pleading, to blend into the foliage. The squad car cruised by without stopping. He sprinted back to his friend’s house, not bothering to look back. He’d only been gone twenty minutes and had nearly been caught. Still, he was exhilarated that he’d actually patrolled — and made it back in one piece.
And look on the bright side, he told himself. Things could only get better from here.


He soon discovered he wasn’t the only crime fighter, unbelievable as that seemed. The tip-off was Mr. Silent.
Several months after his first patrol, with several additional excursions under his belt, he came across a MySpace page for a man who patrolled Indianapolis armed with a cane, a gentleman’s suit and a silver mask. He excitedly sent Mr. Silent a message, letting him know that he, too, was a crime fighter. He received a response from a different superhero, a New York City-area avenger named Tothian. There are lots of us, Tothian explained, and encouraged him to join their ranks in the Heroes Network — a sort of United Nations for superheroes.
But first he’d need a new name. “Mothman” had lost its mystique when he’d realized it was similar to the name of a 2002 thriller starring Richard Gere. So he thought back to his alter ego’s origins, the night he silently scaled the wall of that little girl’s house. The answer was obvious: He was the Wall Creeper.
The Heroes Network embraced the Wall Creeper with open arms. Founded by Tothian in early 2007, the membership-only online forum covered everything from battle tactics to investigation tips, and boasted dozens of members from all over the country and beyond — people like Slapjack in Maine, Nostrum in New Orleans, Lionheart in England and the not-so-subtly named Superhero in Florida. From the Wall Creeper’s perspective, a few were clearly dressing in tights for attention or to live out some fantasy.
But many were like himself, people sick of the world’s depravity and apathy who’d decided to take matters into their own hands. Their outfits symbolized a pledge to justice. “Some would say the costumes are to inspire people to do good, to show people that there are people like us out there,” says the Wall Creeper. “This line of work isn’t just a job or career; it’s a piece of your life. It defines you, and it comes out in the pride you take in your costume.” Most of these costumed avengers know they have no real powers other than those provided by their training or equipment (though a few believe they have metaphysical abilities, including Master Legend, who says he can flip over a car and run at supersonic speeds without losing his breath). But that hasn’t stopped them from facing down evil on their own. They have no interest in joining structured operations like police forces or even the Guardian Angels. They live by their own rules.
“Justice is not the law,” Master Legend says, his declarative sentences seeming to come out in word bubbles. “Laws are written by men. Justice is written into our souls, our spirit, from the day we are born.”
No one knows for sure who was the first to heed this call for justice and strap on a mask. Some heroes have been around since the 1990s — folks like Mr. Silent, as well as Terrifica, a woman who dons a Valkyrie bra and defends ladies in New York City, and Superbarrio Gómez, a Mexico City resident who campaigns against corruption wearing a red and yellow wrestler’s mask. Then there’s Master Legend, who claims to have been taking down criminals with his “No Mercy Punch” since 1983. But even before him, there was the Human Fly, a costumed Canadian who in the 1970s rode on top of a DC-8 airliner and used a rocket-powered motorcycle to jump 27 buses at a Gloria Gaynor concert. He had a Marvel comic book named after him.
Lately, though, conversions to the superhero cause have reached a fever pitch, with the Heroes Network swelling to more than 300 members. So far, the Colorado contingent remains relatively small. There’s Tigris, who crusaded for animal justice for a while in Colorado Springs; Ten, who sports a blood-red mask and a mean pair of nunchucks; and a shadowy figure who answers to the name Nightwatch. None of them could be reached for this story. But Colorado’s superhero population may grow, especially with new crime-fighting associations such as the Signal Light Foundation and Superheroes Anonymous taking hold.
The recent upswing could be a response to real-world perils that seem straight out of a mega-villain’s plan for world domination, things like the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the bird flu and the USA PATRIOT Act. Or maybe it’s thanks to the Internet, with websites like the Heroes Network inspiring costumed crime fighters the world over to come out of the closet. Or maybe, as the Wall Creeper believes, it’s because few people look up to the military or elected officials or the police anymore. The only heroes left, it seems, are the mythical ones whose visages soar across movie screens and whose four-color exploits still embellish endless childhoods.
“The only role models we have left are either dead or gone or never existed,” he says. “It’s sad we have to take up that mantle waving a superhero flag.”


In the Heroes Network, the Wall Creeper finally felt part of something important.
“It was like coming home for the first time,” he says. “Just imagine having a friend in every state that knows what you do and how you are and everything.” With his online colleagues, he endlessly compared and fine-tuned his battle suit and tinkered with his MySpace page. He eventually sank more than $1,000 into his alter ego, explaining to his parents that it was going toward a paintball hobby. Along the way, he gathered trade secrets such as how capes, while dramatic, don’t work well in actual crime fighting. He discovered that the best place to buy handmade Spandex battle suits was www.Hero-Gear.net — “We’ve got what it takes to be a HERO!” — and ordered a custom-designed mask from the site for special occasions. And from Entomo the Insect Man, a Naples, Italy-based superhero, he learned he needed an insignia that would set him apart from your everyday all-black ninja. “You are the only Wall Creeper,” Entomo told him. “There is no one else like you.” So the Wall Creeper painted an ornate “W-C” motif on his mask.
And now the man behind that mask felt like he was becoming a force to be reckoned with. He had to keep his secret from his parents — it was too dangerous and unconventional for them to know about — so a few times a week, he’d wait in his room until the house was silent before sneaking out. Then he’d navigate the moonlit three-mile walk to town before stealthily roaming the streets for hours looking for trouble.
He gave up his swords, preferring to rely on his detective skills and the three or four martial arts styles in which he’d taken lessons (though to keep the upper hand, he won’t say how, exactly, he’d handle himself in a fight). Some nights he’d “wall-creep” up buildings, climbing up fire escapes and vaulting over walls so he could run surveillance from roofs. He discovered he could become invisible just by thinking and feeling nothing — acting as though he didn’t exist. The tactic seemed to work, since he remembers only a handful of people ever noticing him. The few who did sometimes gasped or screamed, while others waved and wished him a good night.
One time, he says, he tracked a local drug dealer to his house and knocked on his window. When the thug got over the sight of a masked man peeking through his curtains, he allowed the Wall Creeper inside to talk. That night, the crime fighter learned about the OxyContin, heroin, cocaine, meth and ecstasy flowing freely under the direction of a local narcotics ring. He took it all down in his journal and warned the dealer that if he didn’t clean up his act, he’d be back.
Other than that, the Wall Creeper didn’t experience much in the way of dramatic confrontations. No matter: His main weapon wasn’t his fists, but the legend that he believed was growing. Sure enough, he sensed that rumors were spreading around school of a masked vigilante, and to him it seemed that the once-rampant drug trade petered off.
With his home-turf mission apparently accomplished, the Wall Creeper entered college last year in another small Colorado community and stepped up his patrols. He began training two recruits, one of whom supposedly now patrols in the Greeley area under the name Dragomir. Together at college, the three scoped out underage parties for potential date-rapists and would-be drunk drivers. One time they discovered what they thought was an OxyContin pill at a popular college nightclub, so they left the evidence on a vacant squad car, noting where they’d found it. According to the Wall Creeper, the nightclub was shut down within a week.
Another time, the Wall Creeper was biking across campus with his mask off when he spotted what looked like a sleazeball about to take advantage of his drunken companion. He’ll never forget how that dude turned tail when the Wall Creeper bore down on him like a bike messenger from hell, ripping open his coat to reveal his fearsome battle armor. Too bad the girl he saved was too sloshed to notice.
This was the Wall Creeper at his finest, the creature inside of him on full display. As he noted in his journal, he’d reached a new level: “When I am out there, alone with a seemingly new body and a different track of thought, I become the Wall Creeper. That part of me barely speaks. He takes his work seriously, and doesn’t half-ass it like the others. I feel raw power and animal-like, seeking justice.”
The resulting hero was becoming well regarded on the Heroes Network. “He sticks to his mission and doesn’t change his ideals for anybody,” says Tothian about the Wall Creeper. “For someone his age, he is wise beyond his years.”
“For a guy who’s not bulletproof and doesn’t have any superpowers, his heart is totally in what he does. He’s a 110-percent type of person,” adds Ecliptico, a Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, masked man with whom the Wall Creeper has spent hours on the phone brainstorming about helmet designs and crime patterns.
But becoming the Wall Creeper, patrolling in full battle armor several times a week, was taking a toll. Thanks to his long nights, he was struggling to stay awake in class. He began having panic attacks, feeling like something revolting was crawling over his skin. He became obsessed with crime blotters, poring over the injustices he’d failed to stop. “Not doing my job well enough,” he wrote in his journal. “Never enough.”
It was as if he was turning into Rorschach, his favorite character in Watchmen, the 1980s graphic novel idolized by many Heroes Network members for its cast of complex, real-life superheroes. The Wall Creeper had always shared a kinship with the story’s loner detective Rorschach, since both wore their ornate insignias on their masks. But lately there was another, more disturbing similarity between the two. Rorschach was so disgusted and victimized by the world he pledged to protect that he’d become numb to reality, going so far as to consider his ghastly mask his true visage. And now the Wall Creeper started feeling that way, too — as if the creature dressed in the all-black battle suit was his real, dominant personality and the young man in civilian clothes just the alter ego.
As he wrote in his journal one day, “The mask truly is like my face.”


The explosion rips through downtown Denver. Deep within a secret, subterranean lab beneath the State Capitol, something has gone terribly wrong. Down there, far from the population’s prying eyes, a diabolical corporation has developed a horrible new nerve gas — a gas that, thanks to a freak detonation, has now been released. The thick, noxious fumes spread through the sewers and up into the streets, lacing the city with its nefarious tentacles. Many die immediately, littering sidewalks with a gruesome tableau. The rest suffer a worse fate: Devolving into zombie-like maniacs, they roam the streets thirsty for blood and destruction.
There’s only one hope: the Knightmen. Ensconced in a downtown safe house, this vigilant league of crime fighters leaps into action. To end the chaos, they must avoid the zombie hordes, infiltrate the underground lab, find an antidote and inoculate the surviving, half-mad population. Along the way, they might as well take out the mind-controlled lizard men guarding the laboratory.
So goes the fictional training exercise the Wall Creeper recently devised for the Knightmen, a renegade new super-secret offshoot of the Heroes Network. The word-based scenario plays out online, with members messaging back and forth over strategies and plans. The narrative is admittedly over the top, but the Wall Creeper, who transferred to a metro-area college this past fall, designed it to hone his colleagues’ battle tactics in case they ever face a large-scale crisis. Of course, the Knightmen believe they already have one crisis on their hands — one involving the Heroes Network.
The troubles started this past December, when Tothian, satisfied with what he’d accomplished in the Heroes Network, stepped down as president and members voted to replace him with Zimmer, an Austin-based superhero with binary-code 1s and 0s emblazoned on his chest. Taking a page from Barack Obama’s playbook, Zimmer posted a dramatic video acceptance speech on his MySpace page promising a new superhero era. “By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe,” he proclaimed. “We are here because the world is in bad shape. We have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in. But who the hell do you think we are? We are the goddamn Heroes Network, and I am honored to be your president.”
But these lofty claims soon led to online bickering and accusations, with universal truth and justice taking a back seat to petty recriminations and political infighting. Some were upset over a surge of new recruits admitted in under Zimmer’s watch, heroes with dubious missions like the Michigan-based Blue Lightning, who crusades against secondhand smoke. Others were up in arms about the new president’s plan to send out press packets to media outlets all over the country. It didn’t make sense, they argued, for folks with secret identities and unsanctioned weaponry like homemade pepper-spray bazookas and Taser gauntlets to be parading all over the nightly news.
The central argument was over what superheroes are supposed to do with themselves. Zimmer and his colleagues held that social activism should play a key role in the Heroes Network, with costumed superheroes volunteering at local charities and the organization taking steps to become an official nonprofit. That didn’t sit well with those who’d rather be cleaning the streets of scum than running toy drives. “You think you’re a superhero because you show up at a charity once or twice? That’s a smack in the face to people who do it every day,” fumes Ecliptico now. “If you are not risking your life, you are not doing anything heroic. Who is out saving the girl from being brutalized while you’re handing out Barbie Dolls?”
Because of the tumult, the Wall Creeper and several of his colleagues decided to form the Knightmen. “We’re the honest crime fighters,” says the Wall Creeper. “We were sick of all the online minutiae between crime fighters and superheroes.”
Maybe they’ll even end up working hand in hand with local cops — though so far, the Denver police haven’t heard of folks like the Wall Creeper. “I’ve asked around with some of the officers on the street, and they haven’t seen them,” says police spokeswoman Detective Sharon Avendaño. “And it’s not going to be listed on any reports that, ‘Hey, we saw the Batman.'” The department doesn’t necessarily have a problem with people like this, she adds, as long as they don’t take the law into their own hands: “We can’t stop them from dressing like that or walking the streets. But if they do something that crosses the line or is a crime, then it becomes a concern for us.”
While most of the Knightmen’s roster wishes to remain anonymous, one notable Heroes Network ex-pat is the legendary Master Legend, recently profiled in Rolling Stone. “The Heroes Network got a little too soft,” he says. “All that tough-guy stuff, that’s what we are. We’re not here to play around.”
The Wall Creeper still maintains contact with the Heroes Network, and Zimmer promises there’s room for everyone — charitable superheroes and tough-guy crime fighters alike — under his administration. But for that to happen, there’s the matter of cooling down a few superhero-sized tempers. As Knightmen member Ecliptico says about Heroes Network newcomer Blue Lightning, “I’m a smoker. You take my cigarette away, and we’re gonna have problems.”


Striding up Colfax Avenue on their joint Denver patrol, it doesn’t take long for the Wall Creeper and Zen Blade to run smack into an evildoer.
Just a few blocks east of the Capitol building, a shady-looking figure steps out of a darkened alley and approaches the unmasked, plainclothes crime fighters. “You guys looking to buy?” he asks under his breath. The encounter is so unbelievable to the Wall Creeper that he can’t help but keep walking, clearing half a block before his mind fully comprehends what just happened. He spent the past three years looking for drug dealers — and one just came right up to him. “What did that guy say?” he asks. “Normally I would call the police on that guy!”
“Eh,” says Zen Blade with a shrug as they keep walking. The two get along — they chuckle knowingly at a store-window movie poster advertising Watchmen and joke that if Tothian were here, he’d try to hitch a ride on a wailing fire truck speeding by — but it’s clear that Wall Creeper’s companion is a different breed of crime fighter. While Zen Blade has patrolled the mean streets of Aurora, this Heroes Network loyalist also volunteers in his civilian clothes at the Dumb Friends League. And his demeanor is markedly different from his colleague’s: By putting on a costume and assuming a new name, he says, he found inner peace. “Now that kid with all the rage is gone,” he says with a tranquil smile.
A few minutes later, Zen Blade suggests they turn around. He doesn’t want to worry his wife and kid. Back at the Capitol, Zen Blade takes in the view from the top of the steps. “This is too big a city,” he says, shaking his head. “Too big for me.” This was his first time patrolling in a while; because of the cold, he’d called it quits in December. Maybe he’ll pick it back up in the spring. He’ll have to wait and see.
“I learned a lot about the city tonight,” says the Wall Creeper once the two part ways. “I am going to need more training before I take it on.” Aside from his work with the Knightmen, however, lately this crime fighter, too, has been lying low. Last summer he told his mother about his nocturnal activities, and, to put it mildly, she wasn’t pleased. The experience shattered something inside him. Recently he’s been giving the incessant patrolling a rest, and when he does make the rounds in his metro-area neighborhood, aside from the mask in his pocket, the battle suit stays at home.
Maybe that’s why he sleeps better now and the panic attacks have died off. He now knows it wasn’t very healthy always seeing the world in terms of a super-sized clash of good and evil, with bad guys around every corner and masked men the only hope. It’s best to leave that dystopian stuff to Watchmen‘s Rorschach, he explains, having realized that “he saw society in such grim terms that he became something grimmer to cope with it — and that’s what I did, too.”
He’s not about to give up fighting for the downtrodden and afflicted, though — far from it. He’s majoring in criminal justice in hopes of one day becoming a private investigator (police work being too constraining for a lone wolf like him). “If I took as much pride and effort [that I put into the Wall Creeper] and put it into becoming a detective, I would be helping a lot more,” he writes in his journal. “I will still be a watchman, a crime fighter. Why not be legal?”
Nor does he plan to mothball his battle suit, since he’ll need it when he visits Ecliptico in Pennsylvania later this year. He’ll get to meet Mrs. Ecliptico — that’s her official superhero name — and maybe go for a spin in their homemade, three-wheeled Ecliptico Car. Plus, he and Ecliptico have big plans to discuss: They’re hoping to one day start a security company. It could be a crime-fighting consortium like the Black Monday Society in Salt Lake City or the Justice Society of Justice in Indianapolis. Or maybe it will be the old-fashioned suit-and-tie sort; they haven’t decided yet.
Whatever the operation looks like, it’s going to make a difference — the Wall Creeper’s sure of it. “I’m meant to do something,” he insists.
He’s destined for something great.
See photos of crime fighters around the world at westword.com/slideshow. Also, on the Latest Word blog, find a super discussion of Watchmen and a Q&A with a local supervillain.
You don’t exist. You think nothing, you feel nothing, you are nothing. That’s the secret to becoming invisible, to becoming the Wall Creeper.
And he is surely invisible tonight. No one notices as the lean nineteen-year-old makes his way across Civic Center Park and up the granite front steps of the State Capitol. He’s just another night prowler, bundled up against the cold in a black leather jacket.
Probably no one would pay attention even if he were wearing his full battle suit: The Kevlar composite vest, the blunt-trauma pads strapped to his martial arts-toned arms and legs, the custom-designed full-face covering purchased from Hero-Gear.net. Most people go through life in a stupor. It’s like what Master Legend — who’s been battling Florida evildoers for more than a quarter-century — says: “It’s not that a man becomes invisible; it’s just that a man becomes invisible to everybody else. If you are an outcast that nobody cares about, no one notices you.”
In other words, people don’t see what they don’t expect — and no one expects to see somebody like the Wall Creeper, a flesh-and-blood superhero.
Nevertheless, the Wall Creeper can’t risk wearing his battle suit. Not tonight, his first Denver patrol. He doesn’t yet know the city like he knows the Colorado mountain towns and rural communities he’s spent three years patrolling. Until he finds his footing here, there’s no need to attract attention. So all he carries, folded and tucked in his breast pocket, is the most important piece: the black mask he places over his mouth and nose like some terrible demon beak. It’s inscribed with an ornate “W” intertwined with a serpent-like “C” — the insignia of the Wall Creeper.
He paces at the foot of the Capitol building, waiting for his colleague Zen Blade to arrive. He’s edgy, too distracted by his nerves to scope out nearby walls and obstacles for footholds in case he needs to wall-creep to a good vantage point or escape route. He’s never met the Aurora crime fighter who wears a triple-crescent logo on his chest and knit cap, along with aviator-style goggles, but from what he’s learned of him online, the two have much in common. That’s why he contacted Zen Blade and suggested they meet up tonight, to join forces as they prowl the streets.
While the Wall Creeper waits, the city below him seethes. Somewhere nearby, a siren wails. In the shadows of Civic Center Park, a group of men holler and tussle. Maybe they’re playing around, maybe not. On the side of the Denver Newspaper Agency building, the block-long LCD news display scrolls through its never-ending inventory of despair. Drug dealers. Rapists. Pedophiles.
To the Wall Creeper, it seems that with each passing moment the world is getting worse, the shadows deepening, the hands ticking closer to midnight. That’s why he’s taking a stand, hopefully before it’s too late. He’ll stand guard, never resting, as it is written in Isaiah 62:6: “I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem. They will never be silent day or night. Whoever calls on the Lord, do not give yourselves any rest, and do not give him any rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it an object of praise throughout the earth.”
A man in a black leather coat approaches. “Waiting for someone?” he asks.
“Zen Blade?” responds the Wall Creeper, extending a hand. Zen Blade, several years older and bulkier than Wall Creeper, left his suit at home, too, but is nonetheless ready to patrol. “Let’s go,” he says.
The night awaits.


Nobody knows my whole story,” the Wall Creeper says when he first consents to an interview. “Most nineteen-year-olds are just trying to get lucky and get drunk. I want to save the world. It’s taken over my life, and I’m happy with that.” But people need to know he’s not just some vigilante or costumed weirdo, he explains. (And, to be clear, he prefers to be called a crime fighter, not a defender, warrior or costumed activist. Worst of the bunch, he says, is probably “real-life superhero.” After all, no one would say “real-life police officer.”)
“My greatest desire is to aid the police in stopping crime in this great city,” he writes in an e-mail. “Every fiber of my being wants to patrol, to aid, to help the citizens of this city, and the real heroes, the police and firemen, in Denver.”
To explain why, he agrees to meet — under strict and secretive conditions. He’ll only show up at a public, neutral location — a quiet park in a metro-area suburb near where he’s been patrolling the past few months or, on cold days, in a nearby chain restaurant. He wears unremarkable civilian clothes over his lithe physique, and there’s none of the swagger or eagerness of other guys his age. Smiles, for example, are few and far between. He’s the type who blends into a crowd, the last one anyone would expect to be rounding up villains or crushing crime syndicates.
He refuses to disclose where he lives. Anyone who knows, he explains, would be in danger if a criminal tried to use him to get to the Wall Creeper. “It’s like the Batcave,” he says wryly, though he’s quick to point out that he’s never been a big fan of comic books. Getting him to reveal his real name is clearly not an option.
The tale he divulges over several weeks is impossible to verify. He won’t disclose the names of relevant locations, and he says the few people who are close to him, like his father, are reluctant to talk. But the veracity of the events he describes seems less important than the assurance with which he describes them. Each of his stories, each of his memories, is real enough for him to have created the Wall Creeper.


He ran and ran. The freshman boy who would become the Wall Creeper ran every afternoon through the hot, barren plains of South Texas. He ran alone, three to four miles at a stretch, until he could hit a 5:25 mile and had somehow willed away his asthma attacks. He ran even though he hated it, even though it left him ragged for the grueling tae kwon do classes he took later each afternoon. He ran to keep sane, to block out the physical and verbal abuse he suffered at school. He ran so he’d be able to fight back.
And he ran because something inside him told him he had to, that the agony he felt was leading up to something, that he was destined for something great.
It wasn’t always like this. When he was younger, growing up in suburban Oklahoma, there was nothing to run away from. Playing street hockey, learning Christian ideals of right and wrong from his strict but loving parents, watching Batman (the ones with Michael Keaton, whom he considers the only real Batman) — it all seemed right. He especially loved the peach tree in his yard, the one that grew fruit so fat and juicy it would split from within. He’d climb up the tree’s trunk and nap within its thick branches, just as he’d shimmy up light poles and scale chain-link fences. He climbed because it was exhilarating and was something no one else could do, and because at the top he got to live, just for a moment, in his own special world.
He can’t remember exactly when things changed. For reasons he can’t explain, his recollections are fractured and disjointed, his memory cut short by parts he seems to have blocked out. One of the turning points, however, came on a night when he was eleven or twelve. Walking home from a street hockey game, he saw a teenager leading away a young girl he knew, saying to her, “I’m going to take you home, and we’ll see what’s under your skirt.” Hearing that, something snapped. He attacked the teenager, he says, fighting until the older boy ran away. After that, things get fuzzy.
He says he took the girl to her empty house and, to watch over her once she was inside, quietly scaled the one-story residence and waited on the roof until her parents returned. That was his first “wall creep,” he says now, a technique that would later become his signature move. For a while, though, the whole episode seemed so incredible, he wasn’t sure it had actually happened; as he wrote about the wall-creeping part of the night in his journal last year, “Someone inside me (probably a lie) tells me this.”
Whatever happened, the episode changed him.
“That night, I realized the dark underside of the world,” he wrote. “People as a whole squirm and are crippled by their lies, false beliefs…expectations and society. This perversion could not be ignored by me…I decided to be something inhuman to exonerate myself from human weakness, at least in part.”
The human weakness he witnessed around him only worsened when, not long after this incident, he and his family moved to Texas. His memories of middle school there are bleak. A gray prison of a school building, with no heat or windows to let in the sun. First-period physical education classes spent running the school grounds in ragged gym clothes, the early morning haze illuminated by the piles of burning trash school workers would ignite. Bullies everywhere, attacking the new kid and scrawling curse words all over his clothes.
High school was no better. It was a sprawling warehouse-like place packed with 7,000 students. Someone like him got lost in the flood.
While he was locked away in these dismal fortresses, something new and fierce was growing inside him, struggling to get out. “In the turmoil of this dangerously weak emotional state was born a new face,” he says now. “While most kids my age succumbed to apathy, not really caring about others or what was morally right, I became filled with empathy, to the point where I knew I would sacrifice myself for another.”
He needed a body to match his taut new mental state, so he took up tae kwon do and a rigorous running regimen, even though he hated it. He had no choice, he told himself; he was destined for something great.


Pray for me.”
That’s what he said right before his first crime-fighting patrol. He was talking to a classmate at whose house he was spending the night. The classmate, a friend from his junior class, had agreed to help out with his crazy scheme. While the kid wasn’t coming along for the outing, he had offered his parents’ home as a base of operations, since it was located near the center of the Colorado mountain town where the would-be crime fighter and his family had moved from Texas the year before.
The Wall Creeper still shivers nervously thinking about that evening: how the two boys spent the hours leading up to the patrol, almost too anxious to talk. How glancing at the duffel bag of equipment he’d spent weeks preparing made him feel like he was about to get on a roller-coaster ride, one without a visible end. What would happen if he got caught? Would he be arrested? Would the embarrassment ruin his family? By 10 p.m., he’d done enough wondering. It was time to go.
He’d hatched the plan two months earlier, the day he claims he got a call from a police detective who was looking for a guy he knew, a friend of a friend who’d recently skipped town. The detective said the guy had been abusing a little girl. Afterward, he sat in his bedroom feeling trapped, all the old anger flooding back.
After moving to Colorado, things had briefly gotten better for the boy. His new school was small, intimate, populated with teachers and students who seemed to care. But then he started hearing about drugs at parties, stuff like heroin and ecstasy. Classmates he thought were respectable turned out to be dealers. And with each passing week, the local crime blotter filled with ever more reports of robberies, assaults and worse.
The detective’s call was the final straw. It seemed to him the town was falling apart, with the police too understaffed to do anything about it. The ones who’d suffer the consequences were the children — kids like his own little sister.
“I realized I was all alone against what was happening,” he says. “It was an innocent town, a loving town that turned to drugs. And my little sister was going to have to grow up in that, and I wouldn’t allow that.”
That night, surrounded by papier-mâché masks and fantasy posters he’d hung on his bedroom walls, he realized something incredible: Maybe he could make a difference. “I have been training. I can do something. It’s not like I am just some common guy,” he thought. “I’ve been training for this all my life and didn’t realize it.”
The creature struggling inside him was about to be let out. As an unassuming high school student, he had the perfect cover to learn about the drugs and dealers. He could handle himself in a fight, having continued his obsessive physical training. All he needed was a way to protect his identity in this insular mountain town.
In other words, he needed a battle suit. The outfit he built over the next two months was a mixture of practicality and drama, something he hoped would protect him but also strike fear into the hearts of evildoers. He bought a full-face balaclava from a ski shop, obtained a paintball ballistics vest from a military surplus store and salvaged the arm and leg pads he’d used in his street hockey days. Everything was black, to blend in with the night. He armed himself with swords, two short blades he named Twitch and Wind. And while the grappling hook he tried never worked, he was pleased with the black cape he’d designed with sewn-in umbrella ribs that he could raise like demon wings.
But he still needed a name, something terrifying. Since the Wall Creeper persona had yet to come to him, he instead thought back to the time as a toddler when he’d wandered into his family’s backyard playhouse and found its walls writhing with the pulsing wings of hundreds of moths. The door had slammed behind him and the creatures had taken flight, pouring over his tiny body, consuming him. He couldn’t remember what happened next — the memory breaks off — but the revulsion he still felt about it was enough to inspire the perfect name: the Mothman.
And now, as he stepped quietly out of his classmate’s house, the Mothman was ready to take flight.
The masked young man had no particular destination in mind as he walked down the quiet street that warm summer night. He was essentially taking his suit for a test drive, to see what might happen. He didn’t have to wait long to find out.
Just a few doors down, the Mothman froze as a motion-sensitive garage-door light flicked on, illuminating a deer on an evening stroll. He considered it for a moment, until he realized he wasn’t the only one watching. A couple was observing the deer from their nearby porch — and then turned and looked right at him.
He did the only thing he could think of. He raised his horrible black wings like some fiendish beast rearing out of the darkness. If this was to be the Mothman’s coming-out party, he’d be damned if he didn’t leave an impression.
That’s when the cop car rolled down the street.
He couldn’t believe it. What were the odds that one of the town’s meager police force would show up right here, right now? Instinctively, he dropped to the ground and covered himself with his cape, hoping, pleading, to blend into the foliage. The squad car cruised by without stopping. He sprinted back to his friend’s house, not bothering to look back. He’d only been gone twenty minutes and had nearly been caught. Still, he was exhilarated that he’d actually patrolled — and made it back in one piece.
And look on the bright side, he told himself. Things could only get better from here.


He soon discovered he wasn’t the only crime fighter, unbelievable as that seemed. The tip-off was Mr. Silent.
Several months after his first patrol, with several additional excursions under his belt, he came across a MySpace page for a man who patrolled Indianapolis armed with a cane, a gentleman’s suit and a silver mask. He excitedly sent Mr. Silent a message, letting him know that he, too, was a crime fighter. He received a response from a different superhero, a New York City-area avenger named Tothian. There are lots of us, Tothian explained, and encouraged him to join their ranks in the Heroes Network — a sort of United Nations for superheroes.
But first he’d need a new name. “Mothman” had lost its mystique when he’d realized it was similar to the name of a 2002 thriller starring Richard Gere. So he thought back to his alter ego’s origins, the night he silently scaled the wall of that little girl’s house. The answer was obvious: He was the Wall Creeper.
The Heroes Network embraced the Wall Creeper with open arms. Founded by Tothian in early 2007, the membership-only online forum covered everything from battle tactics to investigation tips, and boasted dozens of members from all over the country and beyond — people like Slapjack in Maine, Nostrum in New Orleans, Lionheart in England and the not-so-subtly named Superhero in Florida. From the Wall Creeper’s perspective, a few were clearly dressing in tights for attention or to live out some fantasy.
But many were like himself, people sick of the world’s depravity and apathy who’d decided to take matters into their own hands. Their outfits symbolized a pledge to justice. “Some would say the costumes are to inspire people to do good, to show people that there are people like us out there,” says the Wall Creeper. “This line of work isn’t just a job or career; it’s a piece of your life. It defines you, and it comes out in the pride you take in your costume.” Most of these costumed avengers know they have no real powers other than those provided by their training or equipment (though a few believe they have metaphysical abilities, including Master Legend, who says he can flip over a car and run at supersonic speeds without losing his breath). But that hasn’t stopped them from facing down evil on their own. They have no interest in joining structured operations like police forces or even the Guardian Angels. They live by their own rules.
“Justice is not the law,” Master Legend says, his declarative sentences seeming to come out in word bubbles. “Laws are written by men. Justice is written into our souls, our spirit, from the day we are born.”
No one knows for sure who was the first to heed this call for justice and strap on a mask. Some heroes have been around since the 1990s — folks like Mr. Silent, as well as Terrifica, a woman who dons a Valkyrie bra and defends ladies in New York City, and Superbarrio Gómez, a Mexico City resident who campaigns against corruption wearing a red and yellow wrestler’s mask. Then there’s Master Legend, who claims to have been taking down criminals with his “No Mercy Punch” since 1983. But even before him, there was the Human Fly, a costumed Canadian who in the 1970s rode on top of a DC-8 airliner and used a rocket-powered motorcycle to jump 27 buses at a Gloria Gaynor concert. He had a Marvel comic book named after him.
Lately, though, conversions to the superhero cause have reached a fever pitch, with the Heroes Network swelling to more than 300 members. So far, the Colorado contingent remains relatively small. There’s Tigris, who crusaded for animal justice for a while in Colorado Springs; Ten, who sports a blood-red mask and a mean pair of nunchucks; and a shadowy figure who answers to the name Nightwatch. None of them could be reached for this story. But Colorado’s superhero population may grow, especially with new crime-fighting associations such as the Signal Light Foundation and Superheroes Anonymous taking hold.
The recent upswing could be a response to real-world perils that seem straight out of a mega-villain’s plan for world domination, things like the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the bird flu and the USA PATRIOT Act. Or maybe it’s thanks to the Internet, with websites like the Heroes Network inspiring costumed crime fighters the world over to come out of the closet. Or maybe, as the Wall Creeper believes, it’s because few people look up to the military or elected officials or the police anymore. The only heroes left, it seems, are the mythical ones whose visages soar across movie screens and whose four-color exploits still embellish endless childhoods.
“The only role models we have left are either dead or gone or never existed,” he says. “It’s sad we have to take up that mantle waving a superhero flag.”


In the Heroes Network, the Wall Creeper finally felt part of something important.
“It was like coming home for the first time,” he says. “Just imagine having a friend in every state that knows what you do and how you are and everything.” With his online colleagues, he endlessly compared and fine-tuned his battle suit and tinkered with his MySpace page. He eventually sank more than $1,000 into his alter ego, explaining to his parents that it was going toward a paintball hobby. Along the way, he gathered trade secrets such as how capes, while dramatic, don’t work well in actual crime fighting. He discovered that the best place to buy handmade Spandex battle suits was www.Hero-Gear.net — “We’ve got what it takes to be a HERO!” — and ordered a custom-designed mask from the site for special occasions. And from Entomo the Insect Man, a Naples, Italy-based superhero, he learned he needed an insignia that would set him apart from your everyday all-black ninja. “You are the only Wall Creeper,” Entomo told him. “There is no one else like you.” So the Wall Creeper painted an ornate “W-C” motif on his mask.
And now the man behind that mask felt like he was becoming a force to be reckoned with. He had to keep his secret from his parents — it was too dangerous and unconventional for them to know about — so a few times a week, he’d wait in his room until the house was silent before sneaking out. Then he’d navigate the moonlit three-mile walk to town before stealthily roaming the streets for hours looking for trouble.
He gave up his swords, preferring to rely on his detective skills and the three or four martial arts styles in which he’d taken lessons (though to keep the upper hand, he won’t say how, exactly, he’d handle himself in a fight). Some nights he’d “wall-creep” up buildings, climbing up fire escapes and vaulting over walls so he could run surveillance from roofs. He discovered he could become invisible just by thinking and feeling nothing — acting as though he didn’t exist. The tactic seemed to work, since he remembers only a handful of people ever noticing him. The few who did sometimes gasped or screamed, while others waved and wished him a good night.
One time, he says, he tracked a local drug dealer to his house and knocked on his window. When the thug got over the sight of a masked man peeking through his curtains, he allowed the Wall Creeper inside to talk. That night, the crime fighter learned about the OxyContin, heroin, cocaine, meth and ecstasy flowing freely under the direction of a local narcotics ring. He took it all down in his journal and warned the dealer that if he didn’t clean up his act, he’d be back.
Other than that, the Wall Creeper didn’t experience much in the way of dramatic confrontations. No matter: His main weapon wasn’t his fists, but the legend that he believed was growing. Sure enough, he sensed that rumors were spreading around school of a masked vigilante, and to him it seemed that the once-rampant drug trade petered off.
With his home-turf mission apparently accomplished, the Wall Creeper entered college last year in another small Colorado community and stepped up his patrols. He began training two recruits, one of whom supposedly now patrols in the Greeley area under the name Dragomir. Together at college, the three scoped out underage parties for potential date-rapists and would-be drunk drivers. One time they discovered what they thought was an OxyContin pill at a popular college nightclub, so they left the evidence on a vacant squad car, noting where they’d found it. According to the Wall Creeper, the nightclub was shut down within a week.
Another time, the Wall Creeper was biking across campus with his mask off when he spotted what looked like a sleazeball about to take advantage of his drunken companion. He’ll never forget how that dude turned tail when the Wall Creeper bore down on him like a bike messenger from hell, ripping open his coat to reveal his fearsome battle armor. Too bad the girl he saved was too sloshed to notice.
This was the Wall Creeper at his finest, the creature inside of him on full display. As he noted in his journal, he’d reached a new level: “When I am out there, alone with a seemingly new body and a different track of thought, I become the Wall Creeper. That part of me barely speaks. He takes his work seriously, and doesn’t half-ass it like the others. I feel raw power and animal-like, seeking justice.”
The resulting hero was becoming well regarded on the Heroes Network. “He sticks to his mission and doesn’t change his ideals for anybody,” says Tothian about the Wall Creeper. “For someone his age, he is wise beyond his years.”
“For a guy who’s not bulletproof and doesn’t have any superpowers, his heart is totally in what he does. He’s a 110-percent type of person,” adds Ecliptico, a Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, masked man with whom the Wall Creeper has spent hours on the phone brainstorming about helmet designs and crime patterns.
But becoming the Wall Creeper, patrolling in full battle armor several times a week, was taking a toll. Thanks to his long nights, he was struggling to stay awake in class. He began having panic attacks, feeling like something revolting was crawling over his skin. He became obsessed with crime blotters, poring over the injustices he’d failed to stop. “Not doing my job well enough,” he wrote in his journal. “Never enough.”
It was as if he was turning into Rorschach, his favorite character in Watchmen, the 1980s graphic novel idolized by many Heroes Network members for its cast of complex, real-life superheroes. The Wall Creeper had always shared a kinship with the story’s loner detective Rorschach, since both wore their ornate insignias on their masks. But lately there was another, more disturbing similarity between the two. Rorschach was so disgusted and victimized by the world he pledged to protect that he’d become numb to reality, going so far as to consider his ghastly mask his true visage. And now the Wall Creeper started feeling that way, too — as if the creature dressed in the all-black battle suit was his real, dominant personality and the young man in civilian clothes just the alter ego.
As he wrote in his journal one day, “The mask truly is like my face.”


The explosion rips through downtown Denver. Deep within a secret, subterranean lab beneath the State Capitol, something has gone terribly wrong. Down there, far from the population’s prying eyes, a diabolical corporation has developed a horrible new nerve gas — a gas that, thanks to a freak detonation, has now been released. The thick, noxious fumes spread through the sewers and up into the streets, lacing the city with its nefarious tentacles. Many die immediately, littering sidewalks with a gruesome tableau. The rest suffer a worse fate: Devolving into zombie-like maniacs, they roam the streets thirsty for blood and destruction.
There’s only one hope: the Knightmen. Ensconced in a downtown safe house, this vigilant league of crime fighters leaps into action. To end the chaos, they must avoid the zombie hordes, infiltrate the underground lab, find an antidote and inoculate the surviving, half-mad population. Along the way, they might as well take out the mind-controlled lizard men guarding the laboratory.
So goes the fictional training exercise the Wall Creeper recently devised for the Knightmen, a renegade new super-secret offshoot of the Heroes Network. The word-based scenario plays out online, with members messaging back and forth over strategies and plans. The narrative is admittedly over the top, but the Wall Creeper, who transferred to a metro-area college this past fall, designed it to hone his colleagues’ battle tactics in case they ever face a large-scale crisis. Of course, the Knightmen believe they already have one crisis on their hands — one involving the Heroes Network.
The troubles started this past December, when Tothian, satisfied with what he’d accomplished in the Heroes Network, stepped down as president and members voted to replace him with Zimmer, an Austin-based superhero with binary-code 1s and 0s emblazoned on his chest. Taking a page from Barack Obama’s playbook, Zimmer posted a dramatic video acceptance speech on his MySpace page promising a new superhero era. “By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe,” he proclaimed. “We are here because the world is in bad shape. We have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in. But who the hell do you think we are? We are the goddamn Heroes Network, and I am honored to be your president.”
But these lofty claims soon led to online bickering and accusations, with universal truth and justice taking a back seat to petty recriminations and political infighting. Some were upset over a surge of new recruits admitted in under Zimmer’s watch, heroes with dubious missions like the Michigan-based Blue Lightning, who crusades against secondhand smoke. Others were up in arms about the new president’s plan to send out press packets to media outlets all over the country. It didn’t make sense, they argued, for folks with secret identities and unsanctioned weaponry like homemade pepper-spray bazookas and Taser gauntlets to be parading all over the nightly news.
The central argument was over what superheroes are supposed to do with themselves. Zimmer and his colleagues held that social activism should play a key role in the Heroes Network, with costumed superheroes volunteering at local charities and the organization taking steps to become an official nonprofit. That didn’t sit well with those who’d rather be cleaning the streets of scum than running toy drives. “You think you’re a superhero because you show up at a charity once or twice? That’s a smack in the face to people who do it every day,” fumes Ecliptico now. “If you are not risking your life, you are not doing anything heroic. Who is out saving the girl from being brutalized while you’re handing out Barbie Dolls?”
Because of the tumult, the Wall Creeper and several of his colleagues decided to form the Knightmen. “We’re the honest crime fighters,” says the Wall Creeper. “We were sick of all the online minutiae between crime fighters and superheroes.”
Maybe they’ll even end up working hand in hand with local cops — though so far, the Denver police haven’t heard of folks like the Wall Creeper. “I’ve asked around with some of the officers on the street, and they haven’t seen them,” says police spokeswoman Detective Sharon Avendaño. “And it’s not going to be listed on any reports that, ‘Hey, we saw the Batman.'” The department doesn’t necessarily have a problem with people like this, she adds, as long as they don’t take the law into their own hands: “We can’t stop them from dressing like that or walking the streets. But if they do something that crosses the line or is a crime, then it becomes a concern for us.”
While most of the Knightmen’s roster wishes to remain anonymous, one notable Heroes Network ex-pat is the legendary Master Legend, recently profiled in Rolling Stone. “The Heroes Network got a little too soft,” he says. “All that tough-guy stuff, that’s what we are. We’re not here to play around.”
The Wall Creeper still maintains contact with the Heroes Network, and Zimmer promises there’s room for everyone — charitable superheroes and tough-guy crime fighters alike — under his administration. But for that to happen, there’s the matter of cooling down a few superhero-sized tempers. As Knightmen member Ecliptico says about Heroes Network newcomer Blue Lightning, “I’m a smoker. You take my cigarette away, and we’re gonna have problems.”


Striding up Colfax Avenue on their joint Denver patrol, it doesn’t take long for the Wall Creeper and Zen Blade to run smack into an evildoer.
Just a few blocks east of the Capitol building, a shady-looking figure steps out of a darkened alley and approaches the unmasked, plainclothes crime fighters. “You guys looking to buy?” he asks under his breath. The encounter is so unbelievable to the Wall Creeper that he can’t help but keep walking, clearing half a block before his mind fully comprehends what just happened. He spent the past three years looking for drug dealers — and one just came right up to him. “What did that guy say?” he asks. “Normally I would call the police on that guy!”
“Eh,” says Zen Blade with a shrug as they keep walking. The two get along — they chuckle knowingly at a store-window movie poster advertising Watchmen and joke that if Tothian were here, he’d try to hitch a ride on a wailing fire truck speeding by — but it’s clear that Wall Creeper’s companion is a different breed of crime fighter. While Zen Blade has patrolled the mean streets of Aurora, this Heroes Network loyalist also volunteers in his civilian clothes at the Dumb Friends League. And his demeanor is markedly different from his colleague’s: By putting on a costume and assuming a new name, he says, he found inner peace. “Now that kid with all the rage is gone,” he says with a tranquil smile.
A few minutes later, Zen Blade suggests they turn around. He doesn’t want to worry his wife and kid. Back at the Capitol, Zen Blade takes in the view from the top of the steps. “This is too big a city,” he says, shaking his head. “Too big for me.” This was his first time patrolling in a while; because of the cold, he’d called it quits in December. Maybe he’ll pick it back up in the spring. He’ll have to wait and see.
“I learned a lot about the city tonight,” says the Wall Creeper once the two part ways. “I am going to need more training before I take it on.” Aside from his work with the Knightmen, however, lately this crime fighter, too, has been lying low. Last summer he told his mother about his nocturnal activities, and, to put it mildly, she wasn’t pleased. The experience shattered something inside him. Recently he’s been giving the incessant patrolling a rest, and when he does make the rounds in his metro-area neighborhood, aside from the mask in his pocket, the battle suit stays at home.
Maybe that’s why he sleeps better now and the panic attacks have died off. He now knows it wasn’t very healthy always seeing the world in terms of a super-sized clash of good and evil, with bad guys around every corner and masked men the only hope. It’s best to leave that dystopian stuff to Watchmen‘s Rorschach, he explains, having realized that “he saw society in such grim terms that he became something grimmer to cope with it — and that’s what I did, too.”
He’s not about to give up fighting for the downtrodden and afflicted, though — far from it. He’s majoring in criminal justice in hopes of one day becoming a private investigator (police work being too constraining for a lone wolf like him). “If I took as much pride and effort [that I put into the Wall Creeper] and put it into becoming a detective, I would be helping a lot more,” he writes in his journal. “I will still be a watchman, a crime fighter. Why not be legal?”
Nor does he plan to mothball his battle suit, since he’ll need it when he visits Ecliptico in Pennsylvania later this year. He’ll get to meet Mrs. Ecliptico — that’s her official superhero name — and maybe go for a spin in their homemade, three-wheeled Ecliptico Car. Plus, he and Ecliptico have big plans to discuss: They’re hoping to one day start a security company. It could be a crime-fighting consortium like the Black Monday Society in Salt Lake City or the Justice Society of Justice in Indianapolis. Or maybe it will be the old-fashioned suit-and-tie sort; they haven’t decided yet.
Whatever the operation looks like, it’s going to make a difference — the Wall Creeper’s sure of it. “I’m meant to do something,” he insists.
He’s destined for something great.
http://www.westword.com/2009-03-12/news/the-astounding-adventures-of-the-wall-creeper-colorado-s-own-superhero/1

Capeless crusaders

HAYLEY MICK

From Friday’s Globe and Mail

His transformation into Vancouver’s dark knight begins in the shadows, after a long day’s work and when his 12-year-old daughter is asleep.
First he puts on the knee pads and protective vest; last is the skeleton mask. Before stepping out the door, he grabs a bag of marbles to trip a foe in hot pursuit. “Old martial-arts trick,” he says.
Clad in all black, cape billowing as he prowls the streets looking for trouble, he is no longer a 60-year-old father and husband who fought in Vietnam before becoming a delivery man with a college degree.
He is Thanatos: sworn enemy of drug dealers, gangsters and thieves, and one of a growing number of real-life superheroes.
“We are out there for the people to do good,” he says. “And we’re real.”
A year ago, Thanatos donned his mask for the first time and joined a network of crusaders patrolling their towns and cities across Canada and the United States. He posted his photo on MySpace and introduced himself: “I am fighting a war for good against evil,” he wrote. Soon he was on regular nighttime reconnaissance missions, he says, tailing bad guys, gathering evidence and passing tidbits on to police.
Like most real-life superheroes, Thanatos keeps his true identity a secret. What he will say: “I’m not a fat kid in his mom’s basement or some geek living out a fantasy.”
Hundreds more similarly caped crusaders are listed on the World Superhero Registry, a roster assembled about five years ago that includes the names of more than 200 crime fighters from Hong Kong to Michigan, even Nunavut.
This new breed of superheroes adore graphic novels, can’t wait for Watchmen to hit theatres and are mostly men. Among them are friends of the homeless (Shadow Hare), animal activists (Black Arrow), sworn enemies of Osama bin Laden (Tohian) and one who shovels the front walks of Nunavut’s seniors (Polar Man).
Most patrol the streets alone, but they have vibrant social lives on the Internet. On website forums such as the Heroes Network, they swap tactics on uniforms (should I wear ballistic protection?), patrolling tips (how should I respond to a casual drug user?) and what to wear. “I don’t wear spandex, for a variety of reasons,” says Chaim Lazaros, 24, a superhero called Life from New York.
They are united in a mission to fight criminals and make the world a better place. The growing community is divided, however, over how that mission should be accomplished.
Some want to fight bad guys vigilante-style, remaining in the shadows and adding a caped wing to their city’s law-enforcement ranks. “I’m prepared to make citizen’s arrests if necessary,” writes Geist, a superhero from Minnesota, on his Web page. But others advocate a high-profile existence, helping the less fortunate through established non-profit organizations.
The difference in philosophies often results in heated arguments, says Phantom Zero – also known as a 32-year-old call-centre worker from Lindenhurst, N.Y.
“There are people who hate me online. Because they pretty much think they’re psychic. Or they have superpowers. They think they’re hard-core vigilantes and they don’t like people who do charitable acts.”
Thanatos has seen arguments erupt over whether real-life superheroes should carry weapons, which he is against. “This is not the movies,” Thanatos says. “You can’t leave the guy tied up on the police’s doorstep like Batman. That will not hold up in court.”
When Phantom Zero first went out on patrol, he kept an open mind. Inspired by what he had read about the superhero movement online, he donned a black outfit, a hood and white mask, then set out looking for trouble. He wasn’t prepared to “punch someone in the face,” he says, but had his cellphone ready to take pictures or call police.
“I never came across crimes worse than public drunkenness and urination,” he says. It got worse when he took a job in the peaceful suburbs.
Phantom Zero concluded that “vigilantism is moot.” After that he connected with a group of superheroes who focus on things such as helping the homeless and raising money for children’s hospitals.
One of the more high-profile proponents of this type of work is Mr. Lazaros, co-founder of a group called Superheroes Anonymous. Their coming-out moment happened in October, 2007, when he summoned a group to New York. Decked out in masks and capes, they picked up trash in Times Square and handed out crime-prevention literature. “It was awesome,” he said.
Last year, his league of heroes took a road trip to New Orleans to participate in a Habitat for Humanity project, hammering away in their costumes. Mr. Lazaros plans to make Superheroes Anonymous a registered charity.
Thanatos says he falls somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. He raises money for groups such as the Easter Seals, and every month distributes care packages stuffed with flashlights, food and plastic sheeting to homeless people, which makes his daughter proud.
But he also wants to bring “wrongdoers” to justice by acting as an extra set of eyes and ears for police. Using tools in his “crime kit,” he picks up evidence with tweezers and stores it in sterilized plastic containers. His wife, who goes by the name Lady Catacomb, trails behind with a video camera to document any scuffles (there haven’t been any to date).
Staff Sgt. Ruben Sorge, who heads up the division that covers the downtown Eastside where Thanatos often patrols, says he’s never heard of the superhero. But any citizen who’s willing to dole out food and supplies to the homeless is welcome on his beat, he said. And he encourages reports of violence or crime, “no matter what the person’s wearing.”
Real-life superheroes are often asked why they don’t just do good deeds without the costume or masks, and each has his own answer.
Phantom Zero says anyone can help the homeless, but in a costume you attract attention.
Mr. Lazaros agrees, adding it makes him feel more responsible. “It’s like, okay, now I’m a superhero,” he says. “Now I have to embody these ideals.”
For Thanatos, his identity should be irrelevant. “What I do is much more important than who I am.”
If you could have a superpower…
Come on. You know you’ve thought about it. Would you scale buildings? Soar the skies? Turn invisible? Read minds? Exude super charisma? Which power do you covet most? Weigh in here .
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article968643.ece

From Academia To Zetamania

When WW called Zetaman on Dec. 23, he was walking a mile to work through the snow, with TriMet buses paralyzed and his 1998 Ford minivan broken down at home.
Tough day for the local superhero, who gained a measure of fame after going public this year to reveal his identity in a WW cover story.
Illya King, 30, of Beaverton isn’t blessed with superpowers. But patrolling Portland twice a month to help the homeless—and hyping his exploits online —he’s part of a growing trend of real-life superheroes living out their comic-book fantasies on the street and on the Web.
Life since the WW cover story, Zetaman says, has been a “bizarre, bizarre ride.” He says the public rarely recognizes him in costume or out. But the coverage brought notoriety in the media—local television station KATU and even CNN picked up the story. That, in turn, brought strings of negative comments from anonymous writers online at wweek.com and elsewhere, calling Zetaman an “attention whore” and a “jackass.”
But Zetaman persevered, continuing to spend his nights in costume handing out food and clothing to the homeless. After headlining a fundraiser for the Portland Rescue Mission at Someday Lounge on April 9 with local folk bands, he followed up a couple weeks ago by raising $1,000 in cash and toys for foster kids at a Dec. 13 benefit concert in Kirkland, Wash.
He’s also ramped up his superhero outreach, heading to California and Washington to patrol with fellow superheroes.
His night in Anaheim on April 30 with costumed avenger Ragensi, who dresses in a black ninja suit, was uneventful. That’s surprising given Ragensi’s more hardcore image and his previous violent run-in with a costumed villain, as reported in WW’s cover story.
“He, like, looks scary, but he’s the biggest sweetheart,” Zetaman says.
His July 4 evening patrolling Seattle with Black Knight was also quiet. But even without action-packed adventure, Zetaman continued his efforts to unite his superhero friends under one banner.
There are two reasons. First is what Zetaman calls continued bad behavior by some other superheroes—including his archenemy, a New Jersey avenger named Tothian, who has tangled with Zetaman in online chatrooms and still picks on other superheroes, Zetaman says.
Second is negative publicity from Rolling Stone, which ran a Dec. 12 story on superheroes that profiled Florida hero Master Legend as a slob living in a run-down shack who uses his alter ego to escape reality.
Now Zetaman and others have vetted people they consider to be examples of true real-life superheroes from around the world. They’re assembled in a new online collective Zetaman helped design at therlsh.com.
“We’re trying to get more of a positive message out there that we’re not a bunch of drunks,” Zetaman says. “Or guys just living in our basement and stuff.” —James Pitkin
http://wweek.com/editorial/3508/12026